But Aren't You Meant To Be Dead
by checkerbloom
Summary: Written for the 'but aren't you meant to be dead' challenge on lj. Yonkaka.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I wrote this for Bimbomushi's challenge 'but aren't you meant to be dead' yonks ago. Just got around to posting it here. Please enjoy._

Chapter One

There was only the sound of the ocean; the gentle shush of the waves at the foot of the cliff. But the cacophony of explosions was still ringing in his ears, and the smoke that curled upwards from the rocks was casting a thin veil over the moon.

The cliff face curved outwards into the sea, forming a quaint little cove below. The pale smoke was rising from the where the cliff reached out into the ocean, where the rock face had been decimated to rubble and the rocks had tumbled into the sea.

Something had blasted the cliff apart.

It was none of Kakashi's business. His mission was over, he had been on his way home when the explosion had vibrated through the ground. It was simple curiosity that pulled him towards the sound of the ocean, that made him step out to the edge of the cliff and look across to the destruction.

It was quiet now. If it wasn't for the tendrils of smoke winding upwards from the ruins of the cliff, Kakashi would never have known that anything untoward had occurred there. But there were not many things that could cause an explosion of that size, one that rocked the ground even miles from the source.

The sand looked grey in the darkness; the ocean looked black. There were footprints in the sand below, but whoever had made them had climbed up the rocks and escaped the cove before Kakashi had arrived.

He should turn around and go home. Instead, he pitched himself over the side and slid down towards the thin strip of shore that was trapped by the cliffs and the sea.

The waves were reaching further towards the cliff, washing the footprints away, so it was impossible for Kakashi to tell how many people had been involved in whatever had happened there. When he looked out across the water, towards the smoke and the rocks, he thought he saw movement.

It was none of his business. He was impatient to leave, to get out of Earth Country and pick up his pay cheque, (which he had better still receive, even if the mission had been a waste of time,) but there was something squirming at the back of his mind, something that made him scan the waters.

Further down the beach, steadily being pushed further onto the sand by the rolling waves, was a body.

Kakashi's stomach dropped, but he didn't know why, and with each step it seemed to drop further. He felt vaguely nauseous, sick with dread when he finally reached the body.

The man was lying face down in the sand, naked but for a pair of dark pants that clung wetly to his skin. The waves kept pushing and tugging at his form, nudging him further onto the sand and then pulling back into the shallow water.

Kakashi could only stare at the back of the man's head. His chest felt tight. There was something ominous hanging in the air around him.

The man had light hair. Blonde, but with only the light of the moon it was impossible to tell what shade. It hung limp with water and obscured what little of the man's face that wasn't buried in sand.

When another wave tried to drag the man back into the sea, Kakashi bent over and clutched at a firm bicep, heaving the man further onto the shore so he could roll him over and get a look at his face.

The wet cough that racked the body made Kakashi release him and step back. He was alive, Kakashi was surprised he hadn't noticed. His flesh had been icy to the touch, and he had looked so still that Kakashi had been sure it was a corpse lying on the sand.

Kakashi watched the man shiver as the coughing subsided, and he propped himself up on his arms, leaning up onto his hands and knees. He dragged in a shuddering breath before he turned his face to the side to look up at Kakashi.

Kakashi's breath froze in his chest. The nameless dread he had carried with him across the shore exploded fitfully inside him. He wanted to be sick.

The face of Yondaime Hokage blinked up at him in confusion.

"It's… it's you," the man spoke softly.

Before Kakashi could remember how to breathe, the man's blue eyes rolled up into his head, and he fell forwards onto the sand once again, unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

He couldn't force his eyes away from the man's face. _His teacher's face_. A face he had never expected to see again.

He didn't know how he was supposed to feel. Angry? Or sad? Or both? He just felt numb. Like his mind hadn't decided upon one single emotion so it had simply chosen to ignore them all and remain quiet.

The sound of the ocean was a distant whisper. The sun was pouring light over the horizon, catching at the golden strands of the man's hair.

Were the Yondaime alive, he would be older. He would have aged, but the man lying beneath Kakashi's thermal blanket near the back of the cave looked even younger than Kakashi himself. His face was so achingly familiar that it had opened up a wound in Kakashi's soul that had long since turned to scar tissue.

But it wasn't just his face. It was everything about him, every insignificant detail, down to every last scar. He _was_ the Yondaime, in every way. Every way apart from one.

It was a lie.

Kakashi turned away. Looking at the man's sleeping face had begun to hurt. It wasn't Namikaze Minato that Kakashi had dressed in his spare uniform and wrapped up in a blanket. It was an impostor. But he wanted it to be his sensei. The longing for this man to be who he appeared to be was almost painful. It had opened up a gaping chasm in Kakashi's chest, one that threatened to drink him in and wipe him from existence. Looking into that face and knowing it wasn't real was like losing the man all over again.

The man let out a soft moan.

Kakashi looked back to the man's face, in time to see him scrunch his eyes against the morning sunlight and turn away from the entrance of the cave.

It wasn't him. It couldn't be him. Yondaime Hokage was dead, he had been dead for years. Whoever this man was, he was a lie.

"Wake up," Kakashi called. There was a thread of anger creeping into his voice, bubbling up inside him. This man wasn't just a look-alike, he was an exact replica, identical. Someone had gone to great lengths to recreate a dead man, and it ignited a fury inside Kakashi that he couldn't repress.

"Wake up!" he yelled as the man tried to burrow further beneath the blanket, searching for warmth. Kakashi wanted answers. He wanted to know who this man was. He wanted to know who he was allowed to kill, because someone was going to pay. Someone was going to suffer for defiling the memory of a dead hero.

"Mm?" the man blinked. A pair of impossibly blue eyes, like pools of captured sky, opened sleepily, "where..?"

_He even has his eyes…_Kakashi felt like he was decaying, like he was falling apart on the inside, turning to dust. He had come to terms with his ghosts, but now one of them was lying before him, flesh and blood, and too real but not real enough.

It wasn't really him.

The man sat up suddenly, confusion swelling in the blue of his eyes as the blanket pooled in his lap and he looked down at his hands. Kakashi had bound his hands together, palms flat against one another, as though in prayer. The man couldn't move his fingers, he couldn't form any seals.

"Who are you?" Kakashi asked. His voice was steady, but the rest of him was shaking. The man looked up at him through golden strands, like sun drenched saffron, with eyes too blue to comprehend.

"Huh?" the man looked up at him, and his eyes widened in realisation, "you!"

Kakashi wanted to be sick. The man was looking at him like he was the most beautiful sight in the world.

"Who are you?" Kakashi demanded, this time his voice was like a hiss, angry and hurt.

The awe filled expression on the man's face fell away. There was confusion settling into the man's features, and grief that was almost tangible in his eyes.

"I…" he looked back down at his bound hands as his face collapsed in despair, "I don't know."

Kakashi couldn't breathe. The man's expression was something he had never seen on that face. He looked like Kakashi felt, like he had lost something incredibly precious.

It wasn't him. But knowing that didn't stop Kakashi from wanting to reach out and grab the man, to hold him and laugh and never let go. He wanted to wipe that expression from the man's face, to reassure him; but it was his sensei he wanted to reassure, his sensei's face he wanted to erase that look from.

And it wasn't his sensei. The Yondaime was dead.

Kakashi swept to his feet and strode towards the cave entrance, out into the sunlight.

"Wait!" the man cried before Kakashi could leave him.

Kakashi halted in the cave entrance, hands balled into fists, anger and grief knotting his insides.

"You…" the man said softly, "who are you?"

Kakashi breathed in. There was salt in the air, even though he had carried the man a fair way from the sea. There was a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. He felt tired, so tired he might have turned transparent.

"I know you," the man continued when he received no response, "don't I?"

Kakashi turned to look over his shoulder, to the man behind him, who had raised himself onto his knees and was watching Kakashi with desperation, "I didn't think you were real," the man whispered.

Kakashi wanted to scream. Instead, he turned away and left the cave, closing his eyes against the sunlight as he tried to figure out what he was going to do.

oO0Oo

"What are you going to do with me?" a painfully familiar voice echoed out of the cave. It sounded resigned, determined, if a little despondent.

Kakashi was sitting out in the sunshine, leaning against a rock just to the side of the cave entrance. His nerves had braided themselves together until his insides were nothing more than a tangled knot. The morning had bled into afternoon, the sun was baking the rocks. Inside the cave was probably cooler, but he didn't want to go back in there. He didn't want to have to look at _him_.

"Are you listening to me?" the voice rang out.

He needed to clear his head. He had to find out who the man was, where he had come from and why he looked exactly like a man who had been dead for years. He needed to figure out what he was going to do with the man.

"I won't go back," the man called.

Kakashi turned his head towards the cave entrance.

"Back where?" he asked.

Silence.

He needed answers. And sitting outside, hiding from the problem wasn't going to reveal any. He rolled up onto his feet and strode back towards the cave entrance, until he was silhouetted against the sunlight, looking towards the man sitting at the back of the cave.

Kakashi had tied his hands and ankles together, preventing his escape. But he looked entirely calm with his situation, utterly serene, as though he had forgotten he was tied up and being held captive by a stranger, but was enjoying a quiet afternoon with an old friend.

He smiled when he saw Kakashi. It made Kakashi's heart still.

"Back where?" Kakashi asked again.

The man cocked his head to the side and his brow furrowed in contemplation.

"You're not going to take me back there," he said, "are you." It was a statement, not a question.

"Where?" Kakashi said, irritation streaking through him.

The man looked past Kakashi, to a point behind him, as though lost in thought, "the lab," he replied, "there was an explosion. The wall collapsed, so I escaped."

Kakashi moved further into the cave, until his shadow fell across the other man, "lab? What kind of lab?"

The man shrugged, "I'm not sure. They didn't really let me out of my cell very often, so I didn't see much. The medics called it a lab though."

Kakashi frowned at him, watching him for any hint of deception. But his face, that horribly familiar face, was completely open, completely honest.

"You were a prisoner?" Kakashi asked.

The man nodded.

"How do you know I won't take you back there?" Kakashi asked coldly.

The man breathed in deeply, and smiled slightly, "I don't know really, I…" his smile widened, "I trust you."

Kakashi frowned, "how can you trust me? You don't even know me."

The man's smile turned a little sheepish, he looked back down at the hands in his lap, "ah, that's a good question. I'm afraid I don't know the answer."

Kakashi glared down at him. Part of him wanted to shake the man, he wanted to force answers out of him, to slice them out of his flesh. But the other part of him was horrified at the thought, and just wanted to take him home.

He had to stop thinking of the man as his sensei. It wasn't his sensei.

"Do you have a name?" the man smiled up at him.

Kakashi turned away from that smile. His insides were writhing; longing had curled through him, it was painful to think about.

"Yes," he replied flatly.

The man chuckled, and the sound dragged Kakashi back to a time when he had looked up into that face rather than down at it.

"Alright smartass," the man said, "what is your name?"

Kakashi looked back down at the man, at the indulgent smile on his face and the amused quirk to his eyebrow.

"Morino Ibiki," he replied flatly.

The man's face fell into a suspicious frown, "you're lying," he said, "what's your real name?"

Kakashi answered him with a frown of his own, one of equal suspicion, "how do you know that's not my real name?"

The man blinked and looked back down at his hands, "I… I just do."

Kakashi turned away and headed back towards the cave entrance. The man was lying to him, he had to be. He knew who Kakashi was, he recognised him, he knew he was lying about his name. It set of a spark of paranoia in his gut. It seemed like a bit of a coincidence that Kakashi was the one to find the man, maybe it was all for Kakashi's benefit, some sort of trap or plan to bring him down.

"Hey!" the man cried suddenly before Kakashi could wander back outside, "whatever your name is! I need to use the facilities!"

"What?" Kakashi turned to look at him over his shoulder.

"I need to take a piss," the man replied dryly.

"How is that my problem?" Kakashi asked irritably.

"Considering I'm wearing your clothes," the man replied, "at least I assume they're your's, I'd say it would be your problem if I wet myself."

Kakashi ran his hand over his masked face, his head was starting to throb.

"Fine," he snapped as he swept back towards the man, whipping out a kunai on the way. The man flinched when Kakashi tossed the blanket away, but Kakashi merely sliced away the bindings around his ankles and grabbed him by the arm to hoist him to his feet.

He was smaller than Kakashi's was. The realisation made Kakashi pause to look down at him. There was only a couple of centimetres in height between them, but it felt wrong to look down into the man's face rather than up.

"You're taller than me," the man said softly, jarring Kakashi from his thoughts.

"So?" Kakashi asked as he began to lead the man out of the cave.

"Heh," the man chuckled softly, sadly, "I just… wasn't expecting it. I thought…"

"What?" Kakashi pulled him out into the sunshine and a little way from the cave entrance until they were standing in front of the rock face, their shadows running over the wall and presenting them with the difference in their height.

"I thought you'd be shorter," the man admitted as he looked up at Kakashi and held his arms out to him.

Kakashi gave him a confused look as he glanced at the man's hands.

"I'm going to need my hands," the man said, his lips were twitching, as though he were squashing a smile.

"I don't think so," Kakashi replied.

"Do you have any better ideas?" the man asked, the smile beginning to blossom on his face, "or are you going to offer up the use of your own hands?"

Kakashi growled at him, heat was beginning to rise into his face, but his embarrassment only irritated him. It wasn't his sensei, he needed to stop reacting to the man as though he was.

"I won't run away," the man said.

Kakashi had to grit his teeth against the utter sincerity in the man's face.

"Fine," he said as he snicked the kunai through the bindings around the man's hands, "hurry up."

The man smiled and turned to face the wall, before looking at Kakashi over his shoulder with a frown, "are you going to watch?"

Kakashi didn't reply, he simply folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"I can't go if you watch," the man complained.

"Tough."

The man sighed, "brat."

"What did you call me?" Kakashi almost gasped, his arms fell back to his sides, something inside him went loose.

"I…" the man went still, "I'm sorry, I… I don't know why I said that."

Kakashi swallowed and turned away, "just hurry up."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"You don't need to tie me up," the man said as Kakashi untangled the bandages, "I've already told you that I won't run away."

Kakashi ignored him and snatched his wrists, winding the bandages around them a little tighter than he needed to, but he refused to loosen them. It wasn't the Yondaime, the man was a potential enemy, it didn't matter if the bindings were a little tight.

"What do you want with me anyway?" the man asked as Kakashi tied off the bandages and shoved him back towards the cave, "you know who I am, don't you."

"No," Kakashi replied, "sit down."

The man sighed and obeyed him, folding his legs upon the blanket and getting comfortable.

"If you don't know who I am then what do you want with me?" he asked.

Kakashi ignored him, he refused to even look at him. He felt slightly shaken, unsteady. The Yondaime used to call him 'brat' when he was amused with him, or exasperated by him. He hadn't been expecting to hear that word come out of the man's mouth, he didn't know what to make of it.

"You're lying," the man said, "you _do_ know who I am."

Kakashi glared at him, but the man simply glared back. The look sent a shiver racing through Kakashi, that was an expression he had only ever seen aimed at the Yellow Flash's enemies, not at himself.

"Tell me what your name is," the man said, "your real name."

"Why do you want to know?" Kakashi asked as he reached for his pack.

"So I know what to call you," the man spoke as though he were speaking to a child, a particularly dense child, "and… I feel like I should know your name already. But I've forgotten."

"We've never met," Kakashi replied, "so how could you possibly know my name already?"

The man shook his head and turned away, "never mind."

Kakashi pulled the water canteen from his pack and unscrewed the lid, but he froze as he went to raise his hand to his mask.

He had been about to pull his mask down, in front of a complete stranger, a potential enemy, without a second thought.

"Are you alright?" the man asked, "you look like you've seen a ghost."

Kakashi let out a mirthless laugh, "maybe I have."

He turned away from the man before he tugged his mask down and took a long drink from the canteen. The water was slightly warm, it had a stale tang to it, but just the mundane action of taking a drink calmed some of his nerves.

When he had pulled the mask up and turned back, the man was squirming slightly, eyes glued to the canteen.

"Are you going to share?" he asked, not removing his eyes from the canteen.

Kakashi made a move to hold out the water, but he remembered the bindings around the man's hands before he did. He hesitated for some reason, his mouth went a little dry despite the drink he had just taken.

He forced himself to his feet and moved slowly across to the man, slight trepidation quivering through his limbs.

"Here," he muttered as he held the canteen out and pressed the opening to the man's lips.

The man was watching him as he swallowed, looking up into his face, and Kakashi couldn't look away to save his life. He felt transfixed, and he couldn't seem to get enough air into his lungs as he watched the man watch him.

A bead of water escaped and trickled over the man's chin. Kakashi managed to rip his eyes from the other's blue gaze, only to follow the progress of the droplet down the man's neck.

He snatched the canteen back and turned away. His heart was drumming against his ribcage.

"Thanks," the man behind him said.

Kakashi screwed the lid of the canteen back on and dropped it back into his pack. His knees felt like they had turned to water. He could still see the droplet reaching down the curve of the man's throat.

He shook himself and walked towards the opening of the cave.

"Where are you going?" the man called.

"Away," Kakashi replied quietly as he turned out into the sunlight.

oO0Oo

The sun was sinking below the rocks by the time Kakashi ventured back into the cave. Everything seemed so much more melancholic in the twilight; quiet and still and filled with sorrow. His heart had grown heavier as the shadows grew longer, and the thought of going back into the cave and having to look at his sensei's face was weighing him down.

He would give anything, his very soul, for it to really be the Yondaime.

The man was lying down over the blankets. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't sleeping. When Kakashi wandered back inside the man opened his eyes and blinked up at him.

"You haven't told me your name yet," he said softly.

Kakashi spared him a glance before he settled down onto the rock near the entrance to the cave and swiped up his pack.

"It's annoying me," the man yawned, "I feel as though your name is on the tip of my tongue. I've been wracking my brains, but I can't recall what it is."

"We've had this conversation," Kakashi said in a warning tone, "you don't know my name, we've never met."

The man pushed himself into a sitting position and watched Kakashi closely.

"You'll think I'm insane," he said.

Kakashi pulled a small vial from his pack and flicked his eyes towards the man.

"I dreamed about you," the man admitted, and even in the shade Kakashi could see a blush creep into his cheeks, "or… someone who looked like you. I didn't think you really existed, but then I saw you on the beach and…"

Kakashi snorted in disbelief and dropped his pack back onto the dirt, the tiny vial of clear liquid resting snugly in his palm.

"You think I'm crazy now," the man smiled sheepishly, "right? But I'm telling the truth, I have these strange dreams, and I don't understand half of them. But you're in almost all of them, except… you're shorter."

Kakashi plucked a senbon from one of the pockets of his flak jacket.

"Or maybe I'm taller," the man mused, "it's strange though… being rescued by someone from your dreams."

"I didn't rescue you," Kakashi flicked the lid of the vial up and dipped the senbon into the liquid, "I captured you."

The man smiled and rested his arms on his knees, "you found me on a beach, half drowned and frozen solid, and you dressed me in dry clothes and wrapped me up in a blanket. Sounds like a rescue to me."

Kakashi popped the lid back onto the vial, "you're right," he said as he aimed at the man, "you're insane."

The man flinched when the senbon stabbed into his neck.

"Hey!" he cried, knocking out the needle with his bound hands and staring incredulously at where it landed, "what the hell?"

"I'm leaving," Kakashi told him, "I don't want you disappearing into the night while I'm gone."

The man looked at him, with horror in his eyes, "what? Are you coming back?"

Kakashi dropped the vial back into his pack and turned towards the cave entrance.

"You are coming back right?" the man called, "aren't you?"

His voice was like a knife twisting in Kakashi's stomach. He sounded so desperate that Kakashi almost changed his mind and promised to stay.

"I'll be back before you wake up," he replied.

"Before I wake up…" the man blinked slowly, swaying slightly, "wait… what's your name?"

He fell back onto the blanket, eyes drifting closed as the drug worked it's way through him.

"Kakashi," Kakashi replied quietly. He didn't know why he answered him this time, he was probably already asleep.

"Mm," the man sighed, "Kakashi."

Kakashi's heart clenched painfully. He hadn't heard his name uttered in that voice in what felt like forever.

It was delightfully painful.

He watched him sleep for a moment, before the sight began to burn him. He whipped around and started off towards the sound of the ocean. He had spent the afternoon setting traps around the cave. He was reasonably confident that no one would disturb the unconscious man, and even more sure that he wouldn't wake up and escape before he returned.

The sun had set completely by the time he reached the ocean. The tide was out, the strip of sand below was wider than it was the previous night, and it would be easier to get to the ruins of the cliff without so much water in the way.

He needed answers, and if the man back in the cave couldn't give them to him, then he'd find them somewhere else.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It was dark inside the cliff. The kind of inky blackness that swallows all that touches it. Reaching the gaping wound in the rock face had been more difficult than Kakashi had anticipated, the rocks had been claimed by the ocean, and walking over the water was almost impossible with the kilter of the waves.

He was dripping when he managed to climb into the cavern. His clothes were clinging possessively to him, the salt in the water itched. The rock beneath his feet was slick with water and seaweed, and it was almost impossible to see even a foot in front of him in the darkness.

He uncovered his left eye before he climbed further in. The waves were lashing against the opening to the cavern, sending a frigid spray inside. Upon first glance the cavern was simply that, a hollow carved into the cliff by the sea. But the ground beneath Kakashi's feet was smooth, and the narrow passageway that delved further into the darkness was a perfect arch.

It hadn't been made by any natural means. The rock had been carved away.

His heart was thudding in his chest, surging adrenalin through his veins. He felt tense, so wound up he might snap. He didn't know what he was going to find further in the darkness, but he was weighed down with anxiety, and it grew with each step he took.

If he hadn't been straining all of his senses, he would have fallen over the body in the passageway. It was so dark he couldn't see it, but he knew it was there. He knelt down to turn the corpse over, and even though he couldn't see it's face, his heart dropped to his stomach when his fingers came upon soft, spiky hair.

There was a dull light further ahead. Kakashi drank in a lungful of air before he straightened up and followed the soft glow of a lamp further into the cliff.

The passageway had collapsed further in, crumbling in on itself. But the light was pouring out from the doorway on Kakashi's right. It was pale and eerie, it cast dancing shadows upon the walls of the room.

There was a metal slab in the centre, with a body lying still under the lamplight, covered by a white sheet.

He knew there was someone else in the room, even before the clang of metal upon the tiles bounced off the walls.

He was on the other side of the table in a heartbeat, holding the only other living being in the room by the neck and dragging him to his feet from where he had been crouched on the floor.

"Stop," the man gasped as he tried to scratch Kakashi's fingers from his throat, "I didn't do anything, I'm only a technician!"

When he was standing, pressed back into the table with the body upon it, Kakashi loosened his fingers, but didn't let go.

"Who are you?" Kakashi narrowed his eyes down at the man, "what are you doing here?"

The other man licked his lips nervously, looking everywhere but at Kakashi's face. His hair looked muddy brown under the dim light, it hung limply around his face.

"You…" he rasped, "you're not… you're not on of the test subjects…"

Kakashi released the man's neck, and he breathed a relieved sigh until he saw the glint of a kunai in Kakashi's hand. His eyes widened, he held his hands up in surrender as he scrambled around the table to put the corpse between himself and the Copy-nin.

"What test subjects?" Kakashi asked. There was no room for argument in his tone.

The man grinned nervously, it was more a grimace really, it cast a sickly hue over his face.

"I'm just the technician," he said again, "I just make sure the equipment works, I don't have anything to do with all the other stuff…"

He paled significantly when Kakashi let out a low, impatient growl.

"Okay, okay!" he stammered, "the test subjects… they get brought here, the scientists run experiments on them. Don't ask me what kind, I don't get told anything, it's all classified!"

"What are you still doing here?" Kakashi asked as he glanced around. There were worktops lined up against the walls, dotted with scrolls and test tubes and strange coloured liquid in odd shaped jars.

"Well, everyone left," the man shrugged and chewed his lip, staring wide eyed at the kunai Kakashi was holding, "and some of this equipment is worth a fortune so…"

"What happened here?" Kakashi interrupted him, strolling around the table towards the man.

"Y-you mean last night?" he replied as he stumbled away from Kakashi, around to the other side of the table, "I'm not sure exactly… one of the test subjects went crazy and then BOOM!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, still walking calmly around the table, in a slow paradigm of a chase.

"He blew himself up," the man said quickly, "I think.. and then everything went to hell, the other test subjects got out, and the scientists ran away, like the filthy cowards that they are."

"What kind of experiments take place here?" Kakashi asked as he twirled the kunai lazily around his finger.

"I'm just a technician!" the man squawked and he continued to shuffle around the table. He stumbled as Kakashi followed, slamming his hand onto the metal slab to steady himself and jarring the body. A single grey coloured arm fell free of the sheet and dangled down over the edge of the table.

"You must have some idea," Kakashi cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes.

The man shook his head, "all I know is that people get brought here, they get sedated, the scientists take them away, and they all come back the same."

Kakashi frowned and stopped following the man around the table.

"The same?" he asked, "what do you mean, the same as what?"

The man grinned again, a humourless grimace, and looked down at the white sheet covering the body between them, "the same as him," he replied, before taking the corner of the sheet and pulling it away.

All of the air in Kakashi's chest expelled itself in one gasp. He staggered back, eyes fixed upon the face of the corpse in front of him. He felt sick to his stomach, but strangely empty. He couldn't comprehend what he was looking at.

"It's just a dead body," the other man in the room called out, "I'd have thought you'd seen one or two before."

Kakashi shook his head absently, trying to get what he was seeing to make sense. The man on the slab had been dead for days. His chest had been stitched together after an autopsy, leaving garish red lines over his greyish skin. His hair was bright blonde, it fell about his face in rakish spikes.

"Who…" Kakashi swallowed past the bile rising in this throat, "who is that?"

The other man shrugged, "like I said, people get brought in, the scientists do something to them, and they all come out looking like him," he pointed to the image of Namikaze Minato on the table, "they all die though."

Kakashi tore his eyes away from the body and glanced up at the technician, "they die?"

He nodded, "usually after a few hours. The last one survived about a week I think, but then last night happened. He's probably dead too."

Kakashi couldn't breathe. He moved closer to the corpse, clutched by an insurmountable horror as he looked down into the empty face of his sensei.

The corpse had brown eyes.

"Why?" Kakashi asked, his voice was shaking as his grip tightened on his kunai, "what is the point of these experiments?"

The man stepped back from the table, fear written into his face at the abrupt change in Kakashi's demeanour, "I don't know, it's all classified."

"Who was in charge?" Kakashi growled angrily, glowering across the body towards the other man, "who was doing this?"

The other man swallowed and backed up towards the wall, "it was Orochimaru-sama that supplied the test subjects," he yelped as Kakashi rounded the table and stalked towards him, "Matsura was the scientist in charge, but he left last night."

Kakashi halted a couple of strides away from the man. His blood had gone cold.

"Orochimaru," he hissed.

The other man nodded, "he stopped sending test subjects a while ago though. The scientists were running out."

Kakashi snapped his arm out and brought the blade of the kunai to rest against the sallow skin of the man's neck.

"Where can I find this Matsura?"

oO0Oo

He looked down at the blanket at his feet and felt his heart turn cold. The bandages he had used to tie the blonde's hands together were sprawled across the ground. The man was gone.

Kakashi stepped back from the blanket. Each breath he took shook slightly. He didn't want to be worried. He wanted to deny the thin tendril of fear that suddenly threaded through him with the blonde's absence, but he couldn't. He kept seeing the corpse back at the cliff, his sensei's face: slack and lifeless. The blond he had left in the cave may not be the Yondaime, but he didn't want to see the man dead either.

He had to find him. He had to make sure he was alright.

Kakashi whipped around, and stopped dead.

"You said you'd be back before I woke up," the blond glowered up at him, silhouetted against the dawn light that stretched into the cave, blue eyes flashing dangerously.

Kakashi couldn't fight the relieved smile that crept onto his lips. He had gotten used to seeing that face again, he didn't know what he would do if he lost the man all over again.

His smile fell away. It wasn't the Yondaime. He couldn't loose him again because he hadn't gotten him back. The man before him was simply an imitation, a lie. He was just a test subject for some inhumane experiment.

But that thought set off a pang throughout his being, his heart clenched as he looked down at the blonde's angry expression. He wasn't Namikaze Minato, but whoever he was, he was a victim in all of this. He wore the face of a dead man because of what had been done to him, and it caused compassion to flare up inside Kakashi even as the blond stepped towards him and scowled.

"Where have you been Kakashi?" he snapped, "I was worried about you!"

Kakashi staggered back, blinking in surprise at the man's outburst. He sounded so like the Yondaime right then that the ache in Kakashi was almost physical.

Then Kakashi glanced over his shoulder to the bandages upon the ground, and he frowned back at the man in confusion.

"Why are you still here?" he asked.

"Don't ask stupid questions," the blond jabbed a finger into his chest as he closed the distance between them, "I told you I…" the angry glint in his eyes faded slightly as he looked down at where he had jabbed Kakashi, "you're soaking."

He stalked around Kakashi and swept up the blanket from the ground. Kakashi found himself wrapped up in the blanket and sitting on the floor, with the blond rubbing warmth into his arms through the material before he could protest.

"Idiot," the blond muttered as his hands moved feverishly up and down Kakashi's arms, "you'll freeze to death if you're not careful."

Kakashi couldn't quite catch his breath. The blond was crouching over him, he felt surrounded by the man, and as the hands rubbing his arms slowed down, the blonde's eyes softened as he looked down at Kakashi.

For a moment Kakashi was thirteen again, he was looking up at his sensei after being gently chastised for doing something foolish. The longing that had curled up inside him was almost tangible, it was like a lead weight in his gut.

"I told you I wouldn't run away," the man said softly, "I don't have anywhere else to go. I _want_ to stay with you."

"Why?" Kakashi whispered as the blond continued to warm him.

"Because…" he smiled and looked away from Kakashi's gaze, "you're Kakashi. I don't know why that's an adequate answer. It just is. You're Kakashi and I want to stay with you."

Kakashi shook his head slightly, confused by the blonde's answer. Nothing was making any sense to him. The blond kept behaving as though he knew Kakashi, but it wasn't possible, they had never met. But he had known when Kakashi was lying about his name. He had called him 'brat', and despite the fact that Kakashi had tied him up and held him captive and drugged him, he trusted Kakashi.

"Nn," the blond shook his head in irritation and pulled the blanket away, "they need to come off, they're soaking."

Before Kakashi could ask what he meant, his flak jacket was unzipped and being tugged from his shoulders, and his shirt was being pushed up his chest.

"Hey!" Kakashi grabbed the man's wrists and pulled them away from the sopping material. His heart had exploded inside his chest. Every fibre of his being had suddenly heated up when the man had taken hold of his shirt.

When he pulled the man's hands away, the blond lost what little balance he had had crouching before Kakashi. He fell forwards with an "oomph" until his chin hit Kakashi's chest and he was sprawled half on top of him.

Kakashi had yet to let go of the man's wrists.

The blond turned his eyes up to Kakashi's. Even through the dampness of his shirt Kakashi could feel the other's body heat. It made him want to squirm where he sat, but he was frozen solid.

His heartbeat was a staccato in his chest. Surely the blond could feel it, being pressed against him like that. Kakashi could hear his heartbeat throbbing in his ears, his breath was coming in short gasps.

He could feel the blonde's pulse where he was holding onto his wrists. It was speeding up with each passing second.

"Sorry," the blond said softly, but as he spoke his eyes skittered down over Kakashi's face and landed somewhere close to his lips. His blue eyes went wide for an instant, before he scrambled back, snatching his wrists away from Kakashi.

Kakashi couldn't speak. His voice had turned to clay inside his throat.

"Just…" the blond swallowed, he seemed slightly out of breath, a pink hue had crept into his face, "just take off your wet clothes. Do you have any spare ones?"

"You're wearing them," Kakashi replied. His voice sounded a little strained, even to his own ears. He felt hot, like he had been running all day and had only just sat down to rest.

"Oh," the man said softly. He was sitting across from Kakashi, but he looked poised to flee, ready to leap up and escape, like a wild animal trapped in a corner.

Kakashi was adrift with the desire to drag the man back over to him. There were electric butterflies dancing in his stomach, but rather than put him off touching the blond, they seemed to urge him onwards. He wanted to feel the man's body heat again, to feel his pulse at his fingertips.

But he forced himself to keep very still. He suddenly felt ashamed of the way he had reacted, he could feel flames in his cheeks.

"We…" he swallowed, "we'll be leaving soon, so it doesn't matter. They'll dry on the way."

The blond blinked. It took him a moment to register what Kakashi had just said, he looked as though he had just awoken from a dream, but he wasn't sure if he was entirely awake yet.

"Leaving?" he breathed, "why? Where are we going?"

Kakashi suddenly wanted to be anywhere but alone with the man. There was something crawling over his skin, the longing that had curled in his gut had uncoiled itself and was writhing over his flesh. He felt hot and uncomfortable and embarrassed and desperate all at the same time.

He turned away from the blonde's eyes and looked towards the horizon through the cave entrance, where he sun was rolling upwards.

"There's a village a few miles north," he replied, "there's a man there that I need to ask a few questions."

He could see the man nod out of the corner of his eye.

"When do we leave?" the blond asked.

Kakashi turned to look at him then, and he felt a fresh wave of heat billow through him.

He was filled with restless energy. He needed to get outside, to get out of the atmosphere of the cave.

"Now," he replied, as he rose to his feet.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Kakashi-san," the blond called, "could you slow down?"

Kakashi flinched at the 'san' the man had attached to his name. It felt wrong for the blond to call him that. But then, Kakashi didn't really know what the man was supposed to call him. He didn't know what he wanted to be called by him.

He halted in his tracks and turned to glance back at the man. He hadn't spoken to him since they had set off. He had barely even looked at him, only glancing back every one in a while to make sure the blond was still there. The butterflies that had been trying to escape his stomach had stilled, but they were still there, and they seemed to flutter slightly whenever he caught a glimpse of the blond.

He felt like a fool. He didn't want his insides to twirl whenever he thought about how the man had been sprawled on top of him back in the cave. It felt like a betrayal of some kind, like he was sullying the memory of his teacher with just his thoughts.

He felt dirty.

The blond hadn't sounded out of breath when he spoke, but he had sounded slightly pained. Kakashi waited for the man to catch up, impatient to be on their way but slightly concerned about the tone of the blonde's voice. They hadn't been walking for long, and the pace hadn't been too gruelling, just a stroll really compared to the speed Kakashi wanted to travel at. The man wasn't that unfit, Kakashi had witnessed exactly how fit the man was when he had dressed him in his spare uniform.

The image of hard, defined muscles, and an athletic build under tanned skin shimmered in his mind, and he felt himself sway slightly. He had to stop thinking about it, it wasn't right.

The blond shuffled determinedly up to him, a resolute expression on his face as he hurried to catch up.

Kakashi blinked down at the man's bare feet and winced. He had completely forgotten that the man had no shoes, he could have kicked himself for overlooking something so important. The terrain of Earth Country was almost entirely rocky, they had been walking over hard earth and sharp stones all morning, and even though he knew the blond had been lagging behind he hadn't given a thought as to why.

"Sit down," he ordered as he dropped his pack to the ground and knelt down to yank it open.

The blond simply looked at him curiously, with his head cocked to the side in an unspoken question.

Kakashi sighed, stood up, and took the man by the shoulders to he could guide him to one of the boulders to the side of the path and set him down.

He had never had to take care of his sensei before, not really. And despite the fact that the blond wasn't the Yondaime, it still felt rather bizarre. He felt like the man should be the one taking care of him, and even though he resented the idea, there was a small part of him that wished it was the case.

He pulled his canteen from his pack and shifted towards the other man, until he was knelt in front of him and pouring water over the blonde's feet.

He could feel the blonde's eyes on him, and for some reason, he felt marginally embarrassed. He couldn't look up to meet his gaze, he was sure he had turned bright red under the mask.

He reached back towards his pack and fished around inside for the bandages he knew were in there. He couldn't get the man any shoes, but he could wrap his feet up and hopefully that would help until they could reach somewhere with foot wear.

He made the mistake of looking up at the man when he found the bandages. The blonde's face had turned a delicate pink, his eyes were locked onto Kakashi and were slightly wide, and his lips were parted slightly. Kakashi's breath hitched when their eyes met.

Kakashi swallowed and looked away. His lips felt chapped when he licked them.

"I'll bandage your feet up," Kakashi said, "that should make it easier to walk."

The blond made a small noise in the back of his throat in response, and jumped slightly when Kakashi touched his ankle.

"Ah," the blond breathed, "thank you."

Kakashi cleared his throat, "you're welcome."

oO0Oo

Kakashi made a conscious effort to slow down once they had eaten something and set off again. He kept sneaking sideways glances at the blonde, as though his eyes were magnetically drawn to him. The man was taking in his surroundings as though he was seeing everything for the first time. Which he probably was. The awed expression on his face made Kakashi smile to himself.

When Kakashi glanced at the blond again, the man was no longer beside him. Kakashi stopped dead and spun around, only to see the man standing a few steps behind him, looking intently at something upon the ground.

"What is it?" Kakashi wandered back towards him, and then grabbed the man's arm to pull him back when he caught sight of the scorpion the man was watching.

"Ack!" the blond stumbled back into Kakashi, surprised by the sudden grip on his arm.

"Don't touch it," Kakashi warned as the creature scuttled around in a small circle. He wouldn't pay it any mind usually, but the blonde was wandering around with only bandages on his feet, awe written on his face, looking like a curious child, and a protective panic suddenly rose though Kakashi.

The blond leant back, until his back was against Kakashi's chest.

Kakashi's froze at the contact. His finger's tightened around the blonde's bicep.

"I wasn't going to touch it," the blond said, "you worry too much Kakashi-kun."

Kakashi jerked away from him, as though he had been burned, and stared at him.

"Let's go," the blond grinned at him over his shoulder, he didn't seem to realise what he had just called Kakashi. He spun around and set off again, oblivious to Kakashi's hammering heart.

Kakashi took a moment to catch his breath, then followed.

oO0Oo

Kakashi shook his head to chase away the fuzzy feeling that had crept up on him. They should have been at the village hours ago, but they had been travelling at a snail's pace, and he could no longer blame it entirely on the blond. His feet had started to drag behind him over the past few hours.

Shaking his head only made him feel dizzy.

He was spun around suddenly, and he only realised whose arms were on his a split second before he lashed out. He forced himself to calm down as the blond peered suspiciously up into his uncovered eye, and then pressed a cool hand against the exposed skin of his face.

"I knew it!" the blond snapped, "you're sick! You shouldn't have kept those wet clothes on!"

"I'm fine," Kakashi batted the man's hand away and turned back around. He had completed missions in worse condition, a slight head cold was not going to get the better of him.

The blond grabbed his wrist and dragged him off the path, towards where the rocks veered downwards in a sharp incline.

Kakashi didn't have the energy to argue.

"Its getting dark anyway," the blond said, "we can camp here for the night."

"We're out in the open," Kakashi argued.

"It's fine," the man replied as they skidded down to the brush at the bottom of the incline, "I'll stay awake."

Kakashi snatched his wrist away from the man. He didn't feel comfortable with sleeping while this man took watch.

"Don't look at me like that," the blonde huffed, "you didn't sleep last night and now you're sick. You need to rest and I am perfectly capable of…"

"I said I'm fine," Kakashi argued, irritation niggling away at him.

"I'm going to find something we can use to make a fire," the blond replied, purposefully ignoring him, "sit there and don't move."

Kakashi opened his mouth to argue further, but the blond was already striding away, through the low shrubbery.

Kakashi sighed and wandered further away from the path they had been travelling along. He felt exhausted, but it was a bone weariness that went far past anything physical. He was emotionally ragged.

He desperately wanted to go to sleep. Part of him hoped that he would wake up and it would all have been a dream, the blond would be gone, nothing more than a figment of his imagination. Another part of him was almost afraid to sleep, in case exactly that happened.

He dumped himself onto the ground and dropped his head into his hand. Not far away he could see the blond rummaging about the undergrowth, scooping up twigs and dry weeds with an annoyed scowl on his face.

"Do you have anything in your bag that will make you feel better?" the man asked once he had returned.

"I told you," Kakashi ground out, "I'm fine."

"You'd say you were fine if your leg had fallen off," the man snorted as he dropped the tinder he had gathered to the ground.

"And how would you know?" Kakashi snapped, angry suddenly for some reason he couldn't explain, "you don't know the first thing about me so don't make assumptions."

The blond looked taken aback. He blinked down at Kakashi, holding his breath.

"I…" the blond swallowed, "you…"

Kakashi sneered and turned away. The Yondaime never stuttered.

He heard the blond sigh sadly, "we need to start a fire, it's getting cold."

"There are matches in my pack," Kakashi said flatly.

He was being slightly cruel, he knew that. He tried to shake off his guilt for snapping the way he had, but he couldn't. He had never expected to be in this situation, and he had no idea how he was meant to react.

He looked back at the blond when he received no answer, but the blond was looking down at his hand, a contemplative look on his face.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi frowned, his guilt doubling.

"Can you…" the blond glanced at him, and then back at the twigs and weeds he had gathered to make a fire.

"Can I what?" Kakashi sighed, exhaustion quickly catching up to him.

The blonde looked back at his hand, and slowly formed a circle with his finger and thumb. Kakashi watched the man raise his hand to his lips, and then, with a confused frown, blow through the circle he had created with his fingers.

Kakashi blinked in confusion, and then his eyes widened.

"H-how do you know about…"

The blond looked startled, and slightly afraid, "you can, can't you?"

Kakashi felt shaky. He rose to his feet to approach the blond, a million things running through his head, but nothing making any sense. How did the man know?

He formed the seals for the katon jutsu, brought his hand to his lips, exactly the way the blond just had, and blew a thin stream of flames over the pile of twigs, setting it alight.

The blond had gone pale. The flames were reflected in the blue of his eyes.

"How did you know I could do that?" Kakashi asked, his stomach had tied itself into a knot.

"I…" the blond swallowed nervously and looked up at him, "I don't know."

Kakashi felt unsteady on his feet, but whether it was due to wandering around in wet clothes, or because the man before him seemed to know things that he couldn't possibly know, he wasn't sure.

He stepped back and lowered himself carefully to the ground. He felt shell shocked. He didn't know what to think.

"Are you alright?" the blond asked quietly.

Kakashi shook his head. He wasn't alright. But they would arrive at the village sometime tomorrow, and hopefully he would find the scientist that the lab technician had told him about, and he would finally get some answers.

"You should get some sleep," the blond said.

Kakashi nodded absently, still staring into the flames.

oO0Oo

There was sunlight blinding him, even through his eyelids. He could hear the sound of rustling paper from somewhere. His back was aching in odd places from lying on the ground.

He groaned and forced himself into a sitting position, squinting against the sunlight and trying to roll the kinks from his shoulder.

His heart leapt when he saw the blond sitting a few feet away, hunched over something in his lap.

It hadn't been a dream. The events of the last couple of days rushed back into his consciousness and left him reeling. He felt breathless for a moment, and took the time to simply watch the other man, to drink in the sight of him.

He had never been so relieved to see anyone, but even that made guilt swell up inside him. It wasn't the Yondaime, yet he was still looking at the man as though he was.

"What are you doing?" he called out sleepily.

The blonde squawked and leapt to his feet, hiding whatever he had been holding behind his back and blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Kakashi-san," he smiled anxiously, "good morning, do you feel better?"

"What are you hiding?" Kakashi asked, leaning over to try and get a look.

He caught a flash of orange before the blond twisted away to hide what he was holding.

"Nothing," the man yelped as Kakashi climbed to his feet, "are you ready to go yet?"

Kakashi yawned, and then rushed towards the man. The blond, who hadn't been expecting the movement, cried out and jumped away, but not before Kakashi had seen what he had in his had.

"What are you doing with my book?" he asked, slightly amused by the blush in the man's cheeks, now that he knew what had put the colour there.

"I… you shouldn't…" the blond turned even redder, "it's disgusting, what are you doing with a book like this?"

Kakashi sighed and held his hand out, "give it back," he called amiably.

The blond shook his head, "no, you shouldn't have a book like this," he replied.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked, chuckling slightly, "I happen to like that book."

"Are you insane?" the blonde's eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "it's drivel, the plot is ridiculous, and the… the…" he bit his lip and looked away from Kakashi, "you can't have it back, you're too young for a book like this."

Kakashi had gone to take a step towards the man, to wrestle the book back if he had to, but he faltered when the man spoke.

"I'm… what?" he frowned, "how am I too young for a book like that?"

His stomach dropped again. This was beginning to sound like a conversation he had had before. With another blond haired, blue eyed man many years ago.

The blond blinked in surprise and backed away, "I… uh, I didn't mean that, but…"

"Give it back," Kakashi said, beginning to get ever so slightly annoyed, as he moved towards to man, "it's my favourite one."

The blond narrowed his eyes and shook his head, "no way."

"Give it back, Sensei!" Kakashi cried.

He paled. He felt his heart wither in his chest. Everything stopped.

"W-what?" the blond gasped, all of the colour drained from his face, "what did you call me?"

Kakashi stepped back, trying to put more distance between them, but the blond followed.

"Kakashi…"

"We should go," Kakashi interrupted, "the village isn't far away, we should get there by tonight."

"Wait," the blond whispered softly, but Kakashi strode around him, the book forgotten. His chest felt tight. If he were anyone else he would want to cry. Why had that word fallen from his tongue? He felt sick to his stomach.

Kakashi gathered his things and hurried back up the incline to the path, not waiting for the blond, not even looking back to make sure he was following. He wanted to get away from the man. He wanted desperately to be far away and by himself.

The blond followed anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Kakashi crouched down at the top of the hill and peered across the plain to the village that sat beneath the mountain. It didn't look very big compared to some villages; it was dwarfed by the peak's shadow, but Kakashi felt vaguely paranoid about being so far north within Earth Country.

They had picked up the pace throughout the day. Or rather, Kakashi had picked up the pace, while the blond had merely been forced to keep up. He felt slightly guilty about that, but he hadn't had to speak to the man all day, and he felt calmer for it.

He had never been able to outpace the Yondaime. No one ever could. It caused an ache inside Kakashi when he looked back to see the blond only just reaching the top of the hill. His sensei had never lagged behind, not in anything.

Kakashi turned back to watch the village as the blond dropped down onto the ground beside him. He didn't anticipate any threats within the village, but it wouldn't hurt to be careful.

"Kakashi…" the blond trailed off, nibbling his lower lip nervously.

Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi could see the man staring intently at him. He resisted the urge to fidget. He hadn't told the man that he looked exactly like the Yondaime, he hadn't told him why they were heading for a small village in the middle of nowhere. But it was a conversation they were going to have to have if Kakashi was going to take the blond back to Konoha.

Because he _was_ going to take the blond with him. He didn't know what he would discover when he found the scientist, but he couldn't just leave the man behind. There was a tiny part of Kakashi that wanted to believe that the blond belonged in Konoha, with him. But he silenced that part as soon as it made itself known. He might not be able to stop himself from growing attached to the other man, but he didn't want to grow attached to him for the wrong reasons.

He wasn't Namikaze Minato. He had to keep repeating that to himself.

"Here," the blond said suddenly, thrusting something into Kakashi's hand. When Kakashi looked down, it was at the orange book the blond had returned to him.

The Yondaime wouldn't have given him the book back.

"Thank you," Kakashi replied, without looking at him. He stashed the book away and turned back to the village. His chest felt tight again. As curious as he was, he was afraid of what he would find out when he cornered the scientist.

"Kakashi," the blond began again, "why did you call me… what you called me before?"

The tightness in Kakashi's chest increased.

"Slip of the tongue," he replied softly, "come on, we need to get you some shoes."

He rose to his feet and pulled off his hitai-ate, keeping the Sharingan firmly closed. He didn't want anyone to know that he was a Leaf ninja, it would cause more problems than he cared to deal with. The blond made no move to get up from where he was sitting, he simply stared up at Kakashi, at the scar that bisected his left eye.

"What happened to your eye?" the blond blinked up at him.

Kakashi ran his hand through his hair, pulling a few strands forwards until they shielded his eye. He felt strangely awkward under the blonde's gaze.

"What colour is it?" the blond said suddenly when Kakashi failed to answer.

"What?" Kakashi frowned.

"Your eye," the blond pointed to emphasize his point, "what colour is it?"

Kakashi took a small step back, still frowning down at the man. The blond kept coming out with things that made Kakashi pause, that made him feel disconcerted. It didn't help that what he said was frighteningly relevant or knowledgeable. He knew things that he couldn't possibly know.

Kakashi swept his hair out of his eye and opened it.

The blond gaped, "I knew it was red," he whispered, more to himself than to Kakashi, "how did I know it was red?"

Kakashi let his hair fall back over the eye as he closed it once again.

"I don't know," he replied, "but I'm going to find out."

oO0Oo

Kakashi dropped the ryo onto the counter with a roll of the eyes. The sales clerk had fawned over the blond, thrown compliments left right and centre, and Kakashi was sure that when the simpering fool found out that he was the one paying, he had been come on to.

But the blond was grinning so happily at the attention that Kakashi didn't have the heart to say anything. He simply paid and stepped outside, waiting for the blond to stop staring at his new boots in the mirror and join him.

The bell over the door tinkled when the blond stepped out. He was still smiling, but he looked a little shy when he paused in front of Kakashi.

"Do you like them?" he asked, and he stared down at the plain black boots that Kakashi had bought for him.

"They're boots," Kakashi shrugged, "do they fit?"

Kakashi didn't have time to brace himself before he had an armful of grinning blond.

"Thank you!" the blond mumbled into his neck as his arms tightened around Kakashi, "I know that you don't have to be nice to me, and I don't know why you're bothering, but thank you anyway!"

Kakashi couldn't reply. There wasn't any air in his lungs for him to make words with anyway, all his mind would occupy itself with was the way the blond had attached himself to him. He could feel strands of bright golden hair tickling his cheek, and body heat that wasn't his pressed into him, and warm breath on his neck.

He shivered and patted the blond lightly on the back in response.

The blond jerked his head back, arms still firmly around Kakashi, but peering up at him with narrow blue eyes.

"You're shaking," he said matter-of-factly, "are you still sick?"

Very slowly, Kakashi reached up to take hold of the man's arms and unwind them from around him.

"I'm fine," he replied, "there's an inn just over there, we need to see if they have any rooms available."

The blond nodded, but he looked away nervously when Kakashi set off across the street.

"Are you coming?" Kakashi called back to him.

"Why are you being nice to me?" the blond asked anxiously, glancing up at Kakashi through gold tipped eyelashes.

Kakashi sighed, this was the conversation he had been readying himself for, but he didn't want to have it in the middle of the street.

"Come on," he urged as he beckoned the blond over, "anyone would think that no one had ever been nice to you before."

The blond ambled over to him, eyes glued to his new boots, "no one ever has," he replied quietly.

Kakashi's heart fell as he ushered the blond into the inn.

The woman at the front desk smiled mechanically up at them when they entered.

"Welcome," she said, "how can I help you two gentlemen?"

"We'd like a room," Kakashi said as he grabbed the blonde's shirt and steered him away from the potted cactus in the corner.

"We only have single rooms I'm afraid," she replied.

"That's fine."

The woman gave him an odd look before her eyes fell on the blond beside him.

"One single room?" she asked.

Kakashi nodded.

"For both of you?" she frowned.

"Is that a problem?" Kakashi asked with a scowl beginning to develop on his face.

"No, not at all," the woman shook her head.

"Kakashi-kun," the blond called as he reached out towards the cactus, "can we get something to eat?"

Kakashi flinched when the man called his name.

"If you order food I can have it taken up to you," the woman informed them as she handed Kakashi a key.

"Thank you," Kakashi pulled the blond away from the spiked plant and towards the staircase.

"Order something to eat and stay here," Kakashi ordered once he had opened the door to their room and given the blond a gentle shove inside.

"Huh?" a pair of azure eyes blinked up at him, "are you going somewhere?"

The room was tiny, but it was clean. There was a bed and a small table, and a bright yellow flower in a small vase sitting in the window. The bathroom was down the hallway but Kakashi concerned himself with the escape routes before he left, making sure the window didn't stick and the door locked from the inside.

The blond watched him move with amused curiosity.

"I'll be back later," Kakashi said finally as he headed into the hallway.

"But…"

"Don't go anywhere," Kakashi warned.

"But where are you…"

Kakashi slammed the door behind him and headed towards the bathroom to splash cold water onto his face. His bare skin looked back at him from the mirror once he had pulled his mask down, and he was shocked by how tired he looked. His face was drawn and pale, he looked worn.

His mission had been a waste of time but he had ended up being put through the wringer anyway. His emotions were all over the place, but he didn't have the luxury of sitting down to sort himself out, because the source of his anguish was constantly beside him. How was he supposed to explain to the man that just looking at him caused him to ache?

He scooped a handful of water into his face again and sighed as he shook his head. Maybe he would be able to get over the way the man looked when he had more answers. If he knew why, and how that man came to look exactly like the Yondaime, maybe he could look past it rather than die a little on the inside every time he caught a glimpse of the blond and had to remember that he wasn't really looking at his sensei.

The answer to his questions was somewhere in the village, he just needed to find out where to look.

oO0Oo

The stars were winking at him. As though they knew some sort of divine secret and were smugly flaunting it in his face. Kakashi had found out where Matsura was staying hours ago, in one of the larger houses a little way up the mountain, where the wealthy lived.

He hadn't gone inside. It had gotten late by the time he had found the house, he wanted to be prepared for anything when he confronted the scientist. And his thoughts kept wandering back to the blond back at the inn.

He wanted to have that conversation with the man before he spoke to Matsura.

The blond was asleep. Kakashi had settled onto the roof of the building next to the inn so he could see in through the window. The blond was sprawled on top of the bed, over the covers, sleeping soundly.

Kakashi could still see him, but he was alone, and up on the roof with the stars winking at him, he could give himself room to think.

His mind kept rushing back to the way the blond had been lying on him back in the cave, and the way he had wrapped his arms around Kakashi and pressed their bodies together as he said thank you.

He couldn't seem to stop his mind from replaying those events, in wicked detail. Every time there was a flare of heat in Kakashi's abdomen he felt as though he was committing some sort of crime. The last couple of hours of thinking had brought him a shred of clarity and a world of confusion.

He was attracted to the blond. But which blond? The one sprawled on the bed in their room, or the one who had been dead for years?

Was there a difference?

Through the window Kakashi could see the blond jerk in his sleep, a frown creasing his face. The sight caused Kakashi to lean forwards and peer closer.

The blond cried out softly, and Kakashi was at the window in a flash, sliding it open and slipping onto the bed.

"Sens… Wake up!" he reached out to touch the man's shoulder, but before his hand made contact with the blond, the man shot up into a sitting position.

He punched Kakashi square in the face.

The man had moved so fast that Kakashi hadn't even had a hope of blocking it. The speed threw Kakashi completely off guard, there weren't many people fast enough to get a hit on him.

The Yondaime could have.

"Kakashi," the man mumbled, "haven't I told you to use the door rather than the window?"

"What?" Kakashi rubbed his cheek and blinked in shock at the man, who pressed the heel of his hand into his eye and winced.

"Huh?" the blond forced his eyes open, "what did you say?"

"You said…" Kakashi swallowed and moved to sit on the end of the bed, "nothing, you were dreaming."

The mattress shifted, until the blond was pressed up against Kakashi side and his fingers were running over Kakashi's masked jaw.

"I hit you," the blond said in horror, "I'm sorry, I…"

He pulled the mask down before Kakashi could stop him, and traced his fingertips over Kakashi's cheekbone.

"Well at least I didn't… break… anything…" the blonde's eyes were growing increasingly wider as he took in Kakashi's unmasked face.

The fingertips were still gently touching his cheek. Kakashi thought that the skin beneath the man's fingers had caught fire, he could feel his face heat up.

"I'm sorry," the blond whispered, but he still didn't remove his fingers. He seemed to have forgotten they were there, he was too absorbed in watching Kakashi's face to pull them away.

Kakashi breath was ragged as he breathed out. He took hold of the hand that was hovering near his face to pull the fingers away from his skin.

"I don't know why I did that," the blond said quietly, flushing, "it was… reflex… I just did it without thinking."

"It's fine," Kakashi said, his voice was shaking almost as much as the rest of him was. It might have been his imagination, but he could have sworn that the blond had leant in closer to him.

"You don't take your mask off in front of anyone," the blond replied, "I shouldn't have done that."

Kakashi was about to ask how he knew that Kakashi never took his mask off in front of anyone, but he was stopped by the breath over his cheek. The man was definitely closer now, he could feel each puff of his breath over his skin, causing goosebumps to erupt across his flesh.

Kakashi felt like he was drowning. He was falling and he couldn't stop.

The blonde's eyes were still dancing over his unmasked face, but when they stopped at his eyes, all of Kakashi's insides tensed in anticipation. The look in the man's eyes was so intense it might burn.

The hand that Kakashi had been holding slipped easily from his grasp, only to sweep over his arm instead, up to his shoulder.

Kakashi shivered under the touch, he could see the stars reflected in the blonde's eyes. Winking.

He jerked away, launching himself from the bed, his heart was hammering.

The blond fell forwards with the sudden movement until he was sprawled on the bed again. If Kakashi hadn't moved then the man would be sprawled on top of him.

He clamped down on the familiar heat that surged through him at the thought, and pulled his mask back over his face.

The blond sat up, and scooted closer to the wall, knees drawn to his chest, as though he was trying to make himself as small and unobtrusive as possible.

"I'm sorry," the blond said hastily, "for hitting you, and pulling your mask down, and generally being a nuisance. You bought me boots and let me stay here and bought me food, and you didn't have to and I'm really grateful…"

"Be quiet," Kakashi rasped, still trying to regulate his breathing.

The blonde's jaw clicked shut.

"Just…" Kakashi breathed, "just go back to sleep."

The blonde nodded, but he glanced around and bit his lip rather than lie down.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?" Kakashi sighed wearily.

"Are you going to sleep?" he asked.

Kakashi ran a hand over his face. He was emotionally exhausted.

"I'll take the floor."

The blond was off the bed so fast Kakashi almost missed the movement.

It might have been a trick of the light, but Kakashi wondered if the man was getting _faster_.

"No," the blond argued, "you take the bed, you paid for it, and you were sick last night. I'll sleep on the floor."

"I'm not arguing with you," Kakashi groaned, "just get back into bed."

"I'm not taking the bed."

"I'm sleeping on the floor."

"Kakashi! Do as I say!" the blond pointed at the bed, "get into bed, now!"

Kakashi gaped at him, but he found himself edging around the blond towards the bed. When his knees touched the mattress he fell back as the blond glared at him.

"No need to shout," Kakashi pouted behind his mask. He felt like a misbehaving child.

The blonde's frown fell away, "good," he nodded to himself, "where's the blanket?"

Kakashi watched the man kneel down beside his pack and root through it for the blanket he knew was there.

"What were you dreaming about?" he asked softly.

"Hm?" the blond glanced up at him before looking back down into the pack, "I don't know really. It was the dream I have most often. With the fire."

"Fire?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," the blond tugged the blanket from the pack and spun around to face Kakashi, with a contemplative look on his face, "there were lots of flames, and screaming."

"Sounds more like a nightmare," Kakashi mused.

The blond spread the blanket out over the floor and shrugged, "I suppose so. There was a sort of roaring as well, and a baby crying somewhere."

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly. He held his breath.

"It was afraid," the blond went on, without looking up, "in the dream I mean. I was afraid of doing something."

Kakashi felt as though something hard and cold had settled in his gut.

"But I did it anyway," the blond continued, "and then everything goes black."

Kakashi watched as the blond crawled over the blanket, spreading it out further.

"I'm sorry I hit you," the blond said.

"It's alright," Kakashi replied, rubbing his cheek absently.

"I'm sorry I pulled your mask down too," the blond looked up at him sheepishly.

Kakashi sighed and smiled, "it's fine." And it really was fine. He didn't mind that the blond had seen his face. He wasn't sure what that meant exactly.

"Lie down," the blond said, "go to sleep."

The man sank down onto the floor with an exaggerated sigh and folded himself into the blanket, eyes drifting shut.

Kakashi pulled back the covers of the bed and unzipped his flak jacket as he kicked off his shoes.

"Hey," Kakashi called, and even though he knew that it was probably a bad idea, he offered anyway, "we could share the bed. It's not that small."

The blond looked up at him hopefully, "really?"

Kakashi nodded and slipped his flack jacket over his shoulders before sliding under the covers, "just don't punch me in your sleep."

He rolled over onto his side, away from the blond, before he heard the man scramble to his feet and jump onto the mattress beside him. Kakashi's heart fluttered slightly, not because the blond was touching him, not because he was looking at the blond, because neither were true. Just because he could feel the mattress dip beneath the man, and being that close to him made Kakashi feel remarkably secure.

"Goodnight Kakashi-kun?"

"Goodnight."

He listened to the blond breath for a while before he closed his own eyes. He could feel the other's body heat granted to him beneath the sheets. The blonde's breathing evened out, and the sound made Kakashi want to roll over and burrow into him.

He was almost asleep when the mattress shifted and a warm, solid arm draped over his waist. Heat spread though Kakashi again, and the electric butterflies in his stomach woke up. The blond was still asleep, but he let out a soft whine as he shifted closer to Kakashi, probably searching for more warmth.

Kakashi screwed his eyes shut and tried to think of anything but blonde hair and blue eyes, toned muscles and tanned skin, and lips that had been so close to his he had been able to taste the other man's breath.

He was never going to get to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

He noticed when the blond woke up. He had only managed a light doze himself, he had been somewhere between awake and asleep when the arm wrapped around his waist tensed up suddenly, and then went boneless once again.

During the night, the blond had wriggled ever closer to Kakashi, until he could feel the blond plastered against his back, his face buried into Kakashi's neck, blowing soft breaths against him.

Kakashi could have stayed like that forever, despite the confusion fogging his mind. The blond was warm and comfortable, and Kakashi felt safer in his arms than he had for a long while.

He probably felt that way because he couldn't separate the blond from the Yondaime in his mind. But right then, he didn't care. He felt warm and snug and pleasantly satisfied. He never wanted to move again.

Even though he knew the blond was awake, he didn't move. He didn't want to have to get up, he didn't want to peel the man off him, which he would have to do if the blond knew he was awake. So he lay perfectly still.

His heart sped up slightly when the man tried to wriggle even _closer_ to him. Never mind that they were already so close they might have been suctioned together. He felt the blond rub his cheek against him, like some sort of cat, and sigh into the back of his neck.

There was a certain part of the blonde's anatomy that was suddenly pressed up against Kakashi's ass. A certain part of his anatomy that was more awake than the rest of him. Kakashi realised at about the same moment that the blond did, the man went stock still and tense, he was holding his breath even as Kakashi tried to keep his even so he wouldn't give himself away.

But the feeling of the man's erection against him caused heat to pool between Kakashi's legs. He felt as though he had been set on fire, flames were spiralling downwards throughout his body.

He was equally as ashamed as he was turned on. He body was betraying him, he didn't _want_ to be attracted to the man!

The arm around his waist was gone, the warmth against his back had vanished, and it left Kakashi feeling cold and slightly hollowed out. The blond had jumped up from the bed, and after a moment Kakashi heard the door open.

He was sitting up and staring across the room in time to see the door swing shut. The blond had run out, and Kakashi was left with compound disappointment. He tried to shake the feeling away, but he couldn't.

He dropped back against the pillow and slid his eyes shut.

When the blond came back Kakashi had managed to get his body back under control. There were still some tendrils of desire curling loosely though him, but it was a lazy sort of longing that wasn't hard to ignore.

Until he looked at the blond, who was wearing only his pants and was dripping wet. The tendrils of desire tightened within him. His whole body throbbed.

"Heh," the blond chuckled nervously, and scratched the back of his head, "you're awake. I just, um… went for a shower."

Water was running tiny rivers over his chest, Kakashi's eyes followed them all the way down his torso until they reached the waistband of his pants. His hair was burnished gold in it's wetness.

Kakashi couldn't find his voice.

"The other day, when I went to sleep," the blond said, still scratching the back of his head absently and staring at the floor, "you weren't there when I woke up, and I thought you'd left me. So… it was nice to, uh… to wake up with you here."

It was that admission, more than the sight of him, that sparked fireworks in the pit of Kakashi's stomach. All of the blood in Kakashi's body seemed to change direction and surge to the same place.

He leapt up and dashed to the door. He was down the hallway, in the bathroom, and under the ice cold spray of the shower before the blond could say anything else.

oO0Oo

Thankfully, the blond was fully dressed when Kakashi walked back in. He was sitting cross legged the floor, with his back resting against the bed. Kakashi's pack was on the floor before him. The blond had a kunai in his hand.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked. He had the undeniable urge to rush over there and snatch the weapon away from the blond, so that he wouldn't hurt himself. When had he turned into the man's mother?

"I remember these," the blond said, his eyes flickered up from the blade to pin Kakashi across the room.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi frowned.

The blond flipped the kunai in his hand, and flicked his wrist.

The blade thudded into the leg of the table, dead on.

Kakashi blinked back at the man, he suddenly felt a little nervous.

"Who am I?" the blond asked. His face was set, he looked more like the Yondaime than he had since Kakashi had found him.

"I don't know," Kakashi replied quietly.

"Don't lie," the blond warned, eyes narrowing dangerously, "you know who I am but you're not telling me. Why?"

Kakashi sighed. He had known this conversation would come around. He ran a hand through his damp hair and licked his lips.

"I don't know who you are," Kakashi replied, "but I know who you look like."

The blonde raised an eyebrow, "explain."

Kakashi walked to the table and pulled the kunai from the leg.

"You look exactly like my teacher," he admitted, staring down at the weapon rather than into the blonde's face, "_exactly_ like him."

The blond frowned, "that was why you called me 'sensei'."

Kakashi nodded, "do you remember what they did to you? At the lab?"

The blonde's frown deepened, "they didn't do much. I woke up there and I couldn't remember anything. They just took blood samples. Why, what does it matter?"

Kakashi slid down to the floor, mirroring the blonde's posture.

"They… did this to you," he said, "the reason you can't remember anything, and the reason you look like my sensei. They did it."

The blond blinked, his frown became one of confusion, "why?"

"I don't know," Kakashi admitted, "that's why we're here, one of the scientists came here after the explosion, I'm going to find out what he did to you and why."

The blond simply stared at him for a few moments longer. He looked so focused, so like the man whose image he had been given, that Kakashi was melting on the inside.

"Do you know where this scientist is?" the blond asked.

Kakashi nodded, "he's staying in a house further up the mountain."

"Then let's go," the blond rose to his feet in one single, fluid motion.

"You… want to come?" Kakashi had planned to go alone, to leave the blond at the inn while he got some answers.

There was no room for argument in the blonde's expression, "they're my answers more than your's. I want to know what they did to me. I want to know who I am."

Kakashi nodded and pushed himself to his feet.

"Let's go then."

oO0Oo

Kakashi turned the corner and frowned suspiciously at the blond, who was waiting for him, leaning against the rock wall, looking down over the village.

"You weren't this fast yesterday," he accused.

The blond smiled slightly and shrugged, "I didn't have boots yesterday."

Kakashi huffed and walked past him. The blond had asked him what direction they were going in, and Kakashi had pointed. Then the man was gone, just like that.

Kakashi felt suitable shown up. And slightly apprehensive.

The row of ornately decorated houses came into view. Kakashi had found out that Matsura's daughter owned the one at the far end, and that the scientist was currently staying there.

"Which one?" the blond asked.

Kakashi refused to reply. The blond would only shoot off again and leave him behind, and Kakashi didn't want the man to approach the scientist alone.

The blond followed when he leapt up and over the high wall surrounding the house. The garden was immaculately kept, and Kakashi smirked to himself when he saw the blond kick viciously at the begonias by the wall.

"What did the flowers do to you?" Kakashi asked light-heartedly.

"Nothing," he replied, "but I was thinking about the person who planted them."

With a house this big, someone was probably hired to plant them. But Kakashi didn't mention that.

Kakashi knew that the scientist was alone. There was no one else staying at the house, and the scientist was planning to move on within the next couple of days. He wasn't worried about finding the man, or getting answers out of him. But he was worried about what those answers would be, and how the blond following him closely would react to them.

Maybe he should have insisted upon coming alone.

"Wait," Kakashi halted on the porch and turned back to the blond. He could hear movement from behind the partition, all he needed to do was slide inside, but he was suddenly nervous about letting the scientist see the blond. The lab technician had assumed the man was dead, perhaps it would be better if everyone was left to think that.

"Wait here," Kakashi hissed quietly.

The blond frowned, "what?"

"He's right inside," Kakashi explained, "you'll be able to hear everything, but I don't want you to be seen."

"Why?" he asked.

"Just trust me, alright," Kakashi pleaded, "wait here."

The blond sighed and folded his arms, and Kakashi stepped further along the porch and slipped in through where the partition opened in silence.

The man sitting at the low table was smoking a pipe and reading a newspaper. He didn't look up when Kakashi swept inside, he didn't notice him until Kakashi's shadow fell over the paper he was reading.

"Wha…" the man leapt to his feet, the paper forgotten, the pipe tumbling to the floor, "who are you? What are you doing in my house?"

"Are you Matsura?" Kakashi asked.

"Who wants to know?"

Kakashi snatched a kunai from his belt and twirled it around his finger.

"I do."

The man went pale.

"W-what do you want?"

"Just to ask you a few questions," Kakashi replied, "sit down."

He did so, sagging to the ground like a puppet with it's strings cut.

"So," Kakashi stopped twirling the kunai, settling for just holding it within the older man's line of sight, "are you Matsura?"

The man nodded.

"You're a scientist?" he asked.

Again the man nodded.

"And you worked for Orochimaru?"

Matsura went even paler than he already was. Kakashi heard movement from outside but ignored it, the scientist didn't seem to notice.

"What is this about?" Matsura asked, "what do you want?"

"I want to know what sort of experiments you were conducting," Kakashi replied.

"Why?" the man squawked, he was becoming increasingly agitated, "what are you going to do? I had no choice, Orochimaru would have killed me…"

"I'm not going to do anything to you," Kakashi replied calmly, "I just want you to answer my questions."

"I… I didn't have any choice," the man gasped, shaking his head.

"That wasn't what I asked," Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the man and began spinning the kunai around his finger again.

Matsura's eyes widened to comical proportions, "o-okay, the experiments… well, there were quite a few…"

"I'm talking about experiments upon humans," Kakashi clarified.

"Most of them were on humans!" the man yelped, "this is Orochimaru we're talking about!"

Kakashi frowned in irritation, "fine. An experiment that changed the subjects appearance and erased their memories."

The man frowned, "you mean… the edo tensei experiments?"

Kakashi frowned, "what did those experiments entail?"

The scientist sucked in a deep breath, "complex stuff," he mused. He seemed more comfortable now that he was talking about a subject he was familiar with. "Orochimaru wanted a body, a specific body, to transfer his consciousness into."

"…and?" Kakashi prompted impatiently.

"Well, he eventually changed his mind," the scientist went on, "he decided upon another body, an Uchiha I believe, but he allowed us to continue the experiments."

"Orochimaru was already capable of performing the edo tensei technique," Kakashi replied.

"Yes," the man nodded and smiled conspiratorially, "but the experiment was only _based_ upon the edo tensei technique, there were lots of other factors involved. He didn't just want a corpse that resembled a deceased individual, he wanted the Yondaime Hokage brought back to life."

Kakashi froze. _The Yondaime Hokage brought back to life_. He turned around, subconsciously, to look back towards where the partition opened up onto the porch, where he knew the blond was standing.

"We had almost perfected it too," the scientist said whimsically, "the last time, the soul actually remained in the vessel."

Kakashi barely heard him, he was still staring towards the partition.

"You mean," Kakashi said softly, "you brought him back to life?"

"Incredible isn't it," Matsura replied smugly, "of course, we needed some of his blood, which was quite difficult to come by, and living people had to be sacrificed to…"

The partition slammed further open. The blond was standing in the opening, glaring into the room, at the man sat in front of Kakashi.

"I died?" he hissed, "I was dead?"

The scientist's mouth fell open. He stared, wide eyed, at the blond before him.

"You survived," he gasped, "oh…"

Kakashi turned back to the scientist when he saw him clamber to his feet. Matsura's eyes were locked onto the blond, a grin was tugging at his lips.

"This is…" he let out a breathy laugh, "where did you find him?" he asked Kakashi, sparing him a glance before looking back at the blond, "I thought for sure he had been killed, this is wonderful!"

"Wonderful?" Kakashi echoed, "how the hell is it wonderful? Who is he?"

The scientist looked towards him, an incredulous look upon his face.

"Don't be a fool boy," he frowned, "look at him! Who do you think he is? He's Namikaze Minato!"

Kakashi grabbed the man by the scruff of his neck, "that is NOT Namikaze Minato!" he yelled, "Namikaze Minato is dead!"

"He _was_ dead!" the scientist cried, trying to back away from Kakashi, shaking slightly, "we brought him back! I've been trying to tell you!"

"Who is he?" Kakashi repeated, pointing to the blond across the room, "the man you experimented upon? The person Orochimaru sent to you? Who is he?"

The scientist shook his head, "I… I don't know, just a Sound shinobi that angered Orochimaru, I don't know who he was. But that isn't him any more, his consciousness was erased the moment we transplanted the Yondaime's soul into his body! We turned him into Namikaze Minato!"

Kakashi shoved the scientist away from him. He didn't know what to think. His teacher was dead. Had been dead for years. He had been trying to convince himself that the blond wasn't the Yondaime, and now this man was trying to tell him that the blond was…

He turned back towards the blond. _His sensei?_ But his blood turned to ice.

The blond was gone.

"No," the scientist wailed softly, "quick! Go find him! Bring him back!"

"Like hell," Kakashi growled as he stalked towards the porch.

"But I created him!" the scientist protested as Kakashi strode out onto the porch, "I brought him back! He's my experiment, you can't take him from me! He's mine!"

Kakashi turned back, the kunai in his hand was suddenly at the scientist's throat.

"You said that he's Namikaze Minato," he spoke lowly.

"Y-yes," Matsura replied.

"Then he isn't your's."

Kakashi whipped around and left the man behind.

They had brought him back. His sensei was back. His sensei was alive.

He had to find him.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The room was in anarchy. The bed had been overturned, the table had been shattered, the flower that had been sitting in the window was crushed against the floor and the vase was nothing more than scattered shards of glass.

But the blond… the Yondaime, was nowhere in sight.

For a heart wrenching moment, Kakashi couldn't move. He had turned to stone in the centre of the room, torn between the desire to laugh and the need to cry. There was an instant when he tried to do both. An almost agonised laugh burst forth from his lungs, and his face collapsed as tears scratched behind his eyes.

All of the years he had grieved, all of the memories that had caused him equal amounts of happiness and suffering, all of the pain he had carried with him since that night so long ago slammed into him all at once. He had missed his teacher, he had longed for him so often since he had died, but it had been a futile longing, because he could never have the man back.

But he _was_ back. The Yondaime was alive, and Kakashi was so happy that it hurt. But he didn't know where the man was, he had lost him again, but he was determined not to lose him for good. He couldn't let his sensei leave him again. He _needed_ to find him. The urgency that was streaking though him was like sandpaper coursing over his skin.

Despite his brief pause within the room, he was still breathless when he gathered together his things and shrugged his pack over his shoulder. He doubted he would ever catch his breath again, at least not until he found his sensei. He darted from the room and flew downstairs, practically throwing the room's fee at the woman behind the desk, and dragging his thumb over the spikes of the cactus near the doorway as he moved out into the sunshine.

Bright blood welled up where he had pricked his thumb, a growing bead of red that he used to paint a line across his palm. He crouched down after he had hurried through the seals, and placed his hand down over the dirt, only standing again once the smoke had cleared and Pakkun was looking lazily up at him.

"Yo," the pug sighed by way of greeting.

"I need you to find someone," Kakashi said hurriedly.

"No problem," the dog blinked slowly up at him, "who?"

"Namikaze Minato."

Pakkun spent a number of precious seconds simply staring at Kakashi. His drooped eyes had gone comically wide.

"Uh," the pug licked his lips nervously, "you… you want me to find Minato-sensei?"

Kakashi nodded, "I don't have time to explain," he forced out, "just hurry up and find him."

"Kakashi…" Pakkun pulled a strange expression. It might have been a wince, or a frown, but Kakashi couldn't be sure. He didn't really have enough attention to give to the summon, all of his thoughts were on finding a certain blond, "you do realise that Minato-sensei is… err…"

"Dead, yes, I know," Kakashi snapped, "just find him!"

"Alright, alright," the pug said slowly, as though trying to calm Kakashi down, "just so we both understand that you want me to… um… track a dead man."

"I am aware of what I'm asking."

The pug slowly lowered his nose to the ground, casting wary glances back towards Kakashi, "and as soon as we get back to Konoha you should go to the hospital for a… uh… check-up."

"Fine," Kakashi snapped impatiently, "just hurry up!" He had neither the time, nor the patience, much less the wits about him to explain everything that had occurred to the summon.

Pakkun frowned nervously and wandered away, his nose to the ground, and a long suffering sigh escaped him as he tried to appease Kakashi.

After a few weary steps, the dog froze. His eyes had gone impossibly wide.

"Kakashi…" he whispered softly, "he… Minato-sensei was… his scent is…"

"I know!" Kakashi cried, "Pakkun! Find him!"

The dog looked back at Kakashi, shock written all over his squashed face. But he dragged some semblance of composure back, and nodded, before racing off after the Yondaime.

Kakashi was shaking when he forced his feet to follow the pug.

oO0Oo

He couldn't remember a time when he had moved so fast. His impatience to find his teacher had turned to desperation the further from the village they travelled. Pakkun was a blur of legs a few feet in front of him, but after a while, it had become painfully obvious where the Yondaime had gone.

The pug skidded to a halt at the edge of the cliff, panting after running so far, so fast, with out any breaks. The sun was close to setting but a fiery light still hung over the sea, it made the water look like blood.

"Kakashi," Pakkun panted, "what's going on?"

Kakashi strode closer to the edge of the cliff. There was a single set of footprints in the sand below, they meandered towards the cliff that Kakashi had visited a couple of days ago, and disappeared into the sea.

The blond had gone back.

"I'll explain later Pakkun," Kakashi replied, "you can go now."

He didn't wait for a reply. Kakashi threw himself off the cliff and landed heavily on the sand below, his feet shrank into the grains, the tide was quickly coming in and attacking the wounded cliff with each wave.

He could feel his heart slamming against his ribs. He had no idea what he was going to say to the man. He had spent the whole time trying to convince himself that it wasn't his teacher, and when he finally found out that the blond was the Yondaime, part of him refused to accept it. As though some sadistic crease in his mind was determined to crush his hopes.

He was almost afraid to be happy. Afraid that his sheer overwhelming joy at having the man back would somehow jinx him, and he would lose the man again.

It was this fear that made Kakashi race across the sand, towards the cliff that the blond had escaped from the night Kakashi had found him.

The orange glow of the sunset bled into the cavern that Kakashi had found only a couple of nights ago, yet it seemed to be so much longer since then. So much had happened in such a small amount of time. It felt as though Kakashi had aged years in a matter of days. He was so tired, but at the same time he was humming with so much energy that he wondered briefly why he hadn't fallen apart, one atom at a time.

The light that had not yet sank below the horizon allowed Kakashi to see the corpse he had sensed within the passageway the other night. His heart clenched when he looked down into a face that was so familiar, but different at the same time. He had been dead for longer that the man on the table in the room that Kakashi had found, but even though his face held a shadow of the Yondaime, he couldn't be mistaken for the man. His hair was less golden, his features sharper, less open.

Kakashi forced himself past the body and further into the passageway, where the light of outside failed to reach.

There was a light glimmering out of the room at the end of the darkness. It was a different sort of light than from the lamps that had illuminated the room the other night. A blue hue danced out of the doorway and onto the walls of the passage. It moved like liquid over the stone, pale and blue and unnatural.

He knew what was creating the light before he turned into the doorway.

The Yondaime was standing over the table, looking down at the corpse that was still present on the table. The torches on the walls were unlit, but the small Rasengan in his sensei's hand was washing the room in a dancing blue glow. It spun and tilted in his upturned palm, like a tiny globe.

The Yondaime had his back to Kakashi. But Kakashi could see the tension running thickly through his stance.

"Sensei…" Kakashi took a step into the room.

"Don't call me that," the man replied. His voice was flat. Emotionless. Dead.

"What should I call you then?" Kakashi asked quietly. His heart felt like it had cracked apart. He had been writhing in joy on the inside, so profoundly grateful that his teacher was alive. But he hadn't stopped to think how the Yondaime would feel, he hadn't spared even a fleeting thought for what must be going through the man's mind.

"I don't know," the man replied, still in that empty voice, "I don't have a name."

"Yes you do," Kakashi replied desperately, "it's Namikaze Minato."

"No it isn't!"

The blue light died, plunging them both into darkness. Before the Rasengan had dissipated the Yondaime had turned to look at him, and Kakashi had seen more anguish in his teacher's face than he could bear.

In the dark, all he could hear was the shaking breaths of the Yondaime, and his own heart thudding within him.

"I'm not him," the man called out from somewhere in the darkness. His voice echoed around the room, making it impossible for Kakashi to pinpoint where he stood.

"Yes you are," Kakashi replied breathlessly, "Matsura said…"

"I don't care what he said!" the Yondaime cried, his voice was still echoing around Kakashi long after he stopped speaking, "I don't remember being him. I don't remember anything."

Kakashi took a careful step further into the room. He recalled the position of a torch to the side of the doorway, and edged in that direction.

He used a Katon jutsu to light the lamp. With only that small amount of light, the room was still more shadows that anything else. But at least now he could see the blond.

The Yondaime was still standing before the table, but he had turned away from the corpse and was watching Kakashi dispassionately.

"That was why you were nice to me," the man accused, "because you thought I was him."

Kakashi blinked in surprise, held still by the angry glint in the Yondaime's eyes.

"No," Kakashi whispered, "that's… that's not…"

"Yes it is," the man turned away and looked back down at the corpse on the table, "well, you can go now. I'm not who you want me to be, no matter what that scientist said."

Kakashi moved closer to the blond, gripped by panic, "I didn't think you were him," he said, forcing his words past his lips, "I didn't believe you were him, so don't try to use that to explain my actions."

Kakashi rounded the table, so that he could look into his teacher's face over the lifeless corpse.

"Just because you can't remember anything, that doesn't mean that you aren't…"

"What about the other person?" the Yondaime finally looked up to meet Kakashi gaze, "the man Matsura said was sent to them, the one they experimented upon."

"The shinobi Orochimaru sent here?" Kakashi asked.

"I can't remember being him either," the blond said, "so who am I? Am I him, or your sensei? Or neither?"

"He was killed when your soul was…" Kakashi fell silent when his teacher's face twisted with guilt.

"The only reason I'm here is because people died," he said softly, looking down at the corpse.

"That's…" Kakashi sighed sadly, "that's not your fault."

The Yondaime moved his hand towards the corpse's face, at though he was going to touch the hair that hung around his cheeks, but he stopped before his fingers could brush against the strands. His hands were shaking.

"Why did you come after me?" he asked softly, unable to look up at Kakashi.

Kakashi thought that he might crumble under the weight of that question. There were so many answers, so many reasons why. But there was one that was more important than all the others.

"Because I care about you," he replied.

The blond looked up at him then, eyes wide and sparkling with unshed tears.

"Him," he whispered, "you care about him, Namikaze Minato."

"You _are_ Namikaze Minato," Kakashi argued.

The Yondaime shook his head, "I don't remember being him."

"You remembered _me_!" Kakashi cried, startling the blond with his outburst, "explain that! If you aren't Namikaze Minato, if we had never met then how did you know me? How did you know I lied about my name? Or that I never take my mask of in front of anyone? How did you recognise me if you aren't my sensei?"

"It was a dream," the blond replied breathlessly.

"What else do you dream about?" Kakashi asked, gripping the edge of the table as he looked imploringly at the other man.

The Yondaime looked away, fixing his eyes on the floor to his side.

"I don't know…" he whispered, "lots of things… fire. And trees. A woman with red hair and…" a small, weak laugh escaped him, "…toads."

Kakashi laughed. The sound made the blond snap his head up to look at him, shocked by his reaction.

"The fire is the Kyuubi," Kakashi leant slightly over the table, desperate for the blond to understand, "the demon that killed you, I thought it might be when you described your dream to me last night."

The blond blinked and took a single step back from the table, away from the corpse and Kakashi.

"The trees are the forest around Konoha," Kakashi went on, "where you lived."

"Konoha…" the blond whispered to himself, the name fell off his tongue with practised ease.

"The woman with red hair could be Kushina," Kakashi smiled, even more sure now than he had been before that the blond really _was_ the Yondaime, "the woman you were in love with. And the toads were your summons."

"My… what?" the blond asked quietly.

"You signed a contract with the toads," he replied, "you could summon them to work for you."

"I… I…" the blond was frowning as though he was in pain, "I don't remember any of that… they were just dreams…"

"You might not remember being the Yondaime," Kakashi implored him, "but you dream about being him."

"Then who is _that_?" the blond yelled angrily as he pointed to the corpse upon the table, "if I'm this… Yondaime, then who is _he_?"

"I don't know," Kakashi admitted, "but he's not you."

"How can you be so sure of that?" the blond hissed.

"He has brown eyes," Kakashi answered with calm certainty.

The Yondaime blinked in surprise and stepped closer to the table, looking down into the face of the corpse, at the sunken eyes that were deep brown rather than vibrant blue.

"You have blue eyes," Kakashi said, watching his sensei's face closely, "have you ever heard the saying 'the eyes are the windows to the soul'?"

"He doesn't have my eyes," the Yondaime breathed, his fingers finally touching the blonde strands around the corpse's face.

"He doesn't have your soul either," Kakashi said firmly, "he's not Namikaze Minato, because _you_ are."

The blond flicked his eyes up towards Kakashi, and there was such desperation in his face that Kakashi almost recoiled.

"I don't know how to be Namikaze Minato," he replied, his voice was heavy with despair.

"You…" Kakashi swallowed, "just be yourself."

The Yondaime looked back down at the corpse, "but… what am I supposed to do now?"

Kakashi frowned. He wasn't sure what the blond meant.

The blond glanced up at Kakashi's face, and smiled slightly, but it was a sad smile, and it made Kakashi want to move around the table and hold the man.

"I mean…" the Yondaime sighed, "I don't have… I don't have anywhere to go and…"

Kakashi moved around the table then. The blond stepped back at the sudden movement and looked up at Kakashi. He looked utterly lost, completely unsure of everything.

Did the man think that Kakashi was just going to leave him?

"I'm taking you back," Kakashi told him, almost begging, terrified that the man would refuse, "back to Konoha."

The blond smiled. It was still a sad smile, but there was a hint of hopefulness there too. Kakashi smiled at him, but in the shadows, with his mask on, he didn't know if the man could see him smiling.

He pulled his mask down, "I want you to come back with me."

The Yondaime's eyes ran over Kakashi's face, and his smile turned to one that was more of hopefulness than sadness.

"Thank you," the Yondaime whispered.

Kakashi felt the tears he had fought off earlier come back. He could feel them gathering in his eyes, hot and wet and filled with to many emotions to count. The Yondaime didn't have to thank him, Kakashi was the one who was thankful. He was so indescribably grateful that his teacher was alive that he couldn't speak. He simply stepped forward and grabbed the smaller man, holding him so tightly he thought his arms would snap off.

The blond went still and tense for a moment, before he seemed to melt. His own arms snaked around Kakashi, and he tilted his head to bury his face in Kakashi's neck.

"Can… I want to…" The blond let out a stuttering sigh against Kakashi's throat, "the body… I don't want to just leave it here."

Kakashi nodded, rubbing his cheek against the soft strands of his teacher's hair. He felt so many things all at once that he thought he would burst. It didn't matter that the man didn't remember. Nothing mattered. It was still him, he was still Namikaze Minato. Kakashi couldn't force himself to let the man go, he held on even tighter.

"Just…" the blond chuckled weakly against Kakashi. Kakashi could feel the man shaking, "just don't call me 'sensei' anymore. Alright?"

"What am I supposed to call you then?" Kakashi asked softly.

The Yondaime's arms tightened around Kakashi, "I suppose… you should call me Minato," he breathed, "since… since that's my name."

Kakashi grinned, "yeah, it is."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Kakashi dusted his hands off on his pants and moved closer to where the Yondaime was sitting. The wind had picked up, it was playing with the man's hair, making the spikes dance. Kakashi's hand itched with the longing to run his fingers through the golden strands.

He wouldn't though. His hands were dirty.

The Yondaime was staring into space, lost in thought. But he turned to look at Kakashi when he dropped down beside the man. A warm smile graced his lips as he held the water canteen out to Kakashi.

Kakashi took the canteen, but he couldn't quite bring himself to look back into the Yondaime's face. They had spent the last few hours digging graves, burying the bodies they had found throughout the cliff.

It felt like he had buried his sensei a thousand times. One grave after another. There had been more bodies; more painfully familiar faces. He had buried the Yondaime again and again, and even though he kept telling himself that those people weren't his teacher, after so many graves he had started to turn cold on the inside.

"I'm sorry," the Yondaime spoke suddenly.

Kakashi blinked in surprise at the sound of his teacher's voice. He still couldn't manage to look up at him.

"I shouldn't have asked you too help me bury them," the blond went on, "it can't have been easy to bury so many bodies that look like… like him."

"You mean like _you_," Kakashi amended as he pulled his mask down to take a drink.

"…yeah," the Yondaime sighed sadly, and the sound caused Kakashi to cramp with guilt. No matter how difficult it had been for him to bury the image of his teacher so many times, it must have been nothing compared to what the Yondaime was going though. All those people who looked just like him. Who had died in the attempt to bring him back.

Kakashi swallowed and turned his head to finally look at his teacher. The Yondaime was staring at his face, and Kakashi didn't know how to describe the man's expression, but it caused a blush to creep into Kakashi's cheeks. He fumbled for his mask so that he could hide behind it again.

"Don't…" the Yondaime's hand wrapped around Kakashi's wrist before he could raise the material. The firm but gentle pressure of the man's fingers around him made Kakashi feel as though his bones had turned to water.

"I like your face," the Yondaime said, there was more breath in his words than there was voice, "don't hide it."

Kakashi released the breath that he hadn't realised he had been holding. He lowered his hand from the mask slightly, but the Yondaime was still holding onto him, his fingers still wrapped around his wrist, bleeding warmth into Kakashi's arm.

He had been touched by his sensei plenty of times in the past. He had been held by him, hit by him, carried by him, even tickled by him once or twice.

The way the Yondaime was holding his wrist, gently enough for Kakashi to escape, but firm enough that it was clear that the Yondaime didn't want him to, felt far more intimate than any of those past touches.

He looked down at his wrist, at the Yondaime's hand, before flickering his eyes up into the man's face, and his breath caught again. The Yondaime was watching him carefully, as though studying every contour of his face and waiting for a reaction.

His reaction was to turn even redder. He wanted to scoot closer to the man, but at the same time he wanted to pull away. He didn't know why his teacher was watching him so closely, or why the fingers around his wrist tightened by a fraction when Kakashi met his eyes.

They were in a graveyard, surrounded by the dead that Kakashi had already buried years before, and the Yondaime was suddenly shifting onto his knees in front of Kakashi, still holding his wrist as he leant closer towards him.

His eyes widened as the Yondaime began to close the space between them.

Kakashi was terrified. Terrified that the Yondaime would kiss him, and terrified that he wouldn't. This was his teacher, he shouldn't want to kiss his teacher. He shouldn't ache for the man to press himself closer and touch him, but he did. And all Kakashi could think about was the fact that the man didn't remember, the Yondaime couldn't remember anything, and if he could he wouldn't be looking at Kakashi quite like that.

He could feel himself starting to panic, and then his breath was stolen as the man pressed his lips to Kakashi's cheek, just a soft, chaste kiss.

After a moment, Kakashi's eyes fluttered shut. His teacher's lips were cold against his cheek, probably because Kakashi's mask had prevented the cold wind from stealing too much of his warmth. The kiss lingered longer then a peck on the cheek should, there was too much tenderness in the soft touch for Kakashi to comprehend. When the Yondaime finally moved away, a disappointed whimper almost escaped Kakashi.

The fingers around his wrist loosened. Kakashi finally opened his eyes, to see his sensei watching him still, with a carefully guarded expression, as though waiting for something from Kakashi.

"I… was your teacher, right?" he asked softly.

Kakashi nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Was… was that all I was?" he asked, there was a desperate sort of fear written into his face as he asked the question.

"W-what do you mean?" Kakashi breathed. He may have had some idea of what the man meant, but he was too frightened to trust his instincts, afraid that he was wrong, and equally afraid that he would be right.

The Yondaime swallowed and looked away, releasing Kakashi's wrist.

"We should probably find somewhere to stay for the night," the Yondaime said as he rose to his feet.

Kakashi nodded absently. The feeling of his sensei's lips was still lingering on his cheek.

"The cave…" Kakashi breathed out; the cave wasn't very far away, it was sheltered and no one had been there in a long while when Kakashi had found it.

The Yondaime shook his head, "we shouldn't go back there, it would be too predictable, we shouldn't risk it."

Kakashi's eyes widened as he looked up at the man. That was… he sounded so like the Yondaime… like _himself_ that Kakashi couldn't speak. He had spoken with such calm authority that it was almost impossible to believe that the man didn't remember being who he once was.

"Alright," Kakashi managed to reply as he climbed to his feet, "did you have anywhere else in mind?"

The Yondaime glanced across to where a handful of barren, gnarled trees reached up towards the sky, like broken fingers stretching upwards. It wasn't very secluded, but then, Earth Country was only rocks and low shrubbery, it was as good a place to set up camp as any.

Kakashi swept up the canteen he had dropped and pulled his mask back up, "let's go then."

oO0Oo

They had wasted half of the night arguing about who was going to take the first watch. It seemed silly for Kakashi to enjoy an argument, but he had. He had enjoyed arguing with his teacher, simply because he hadn't had the chance to do so in such a long time. It hadn't even been an argument about anything important, just something as mundane and ordinary as who would get to sleep first. It was such a normality that Kakashi had revelled in it until he finally wore the man down and actually forced the blanket over him.

Now that the man was asleep he finally had the chance to just stare at him. The last time he had watched the blond sleep, from the rooftop across from the inn they had been staying at, he hadn't believed that the man was the Yondaime. But now he knew, and he was watching him even more closely, cherishing each and every rise and fall of the man's chest.

"You know," the blond said suddenly, startling Kakashi out of his thoughts, "when you take watch, you aren't supposed to be watching your sleeping companions."

"How long have you been awake?" Kakashi asked.

The blond opened his eyes and smiled sheepishly at Kakashi, "I never really got to sleep," he replied, "I have too much to think about."

Kakashi smiled back at him, "yeah, me too."

"Maybe you should sleep first," the Yondaime glanced towards him as he pushed himself into a sitting position, "I can't sleep anyway."

"We've already had this argument," Kakashi shook his head, "besides, I won't be able to sleep either."

"Then we have a problem," the Yondaime sighed, "hey, do you have anything to eat?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes as he slid closer to the blond, and reached out towards his pack, "just some ration bars. We should have bought some food from that village before we left."

The Yondaime was suddenly behind him, so close that Kakashi could feel the heat rolling off his body.

"Why do I feel slightly horrified at the thought of eating ration bars?" the Yondaime glanced down at the pack over Kakashi's shoulder.

"Heh," Kakashi licked his lips, and determinedly did not turn to look at the man, "because they're disgusting. But they're food, so if you're hungry…"

Kakashi jumped when he felt the Yondaime's hands rest lightly on his arms.

"Kakashi," the man breathed even as Kakashi's breath caught inside him, "can I ask you a question?"

It couldn't be normal to physically ache whenever the man touched him. His insides were screaming at him just to lean back, then more of them would be touching. The soft presence of the Yondaime's hands on his arms was almost teasing.

"S-sure," he replied after a brief hesitation.

"Do you…" he heard the man hiss as he breathed in, "…I mean… how old were you when… when I died?"

Kakashi had a feeling that that hadn't been what the man was originally planning to ask, but he wasn't about to call the man on it. Instead he focused on his own hands, that were still plunged into the pack between his knees, and sighed.

"Fourteen."

The hands on his arms tensed slightly, and after a moment the Yondaime's arms wound around his chest, the blonde's chin came to rest on his shoulder, Kakashi could feel the warmth of the man's chest against his back.

"I'm sorry," he breathed. Kakashi could feel the words burst over his cheek. He shivered.

"What for?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know," the Yondaime admitted, "I left you alone, and I feel guilty for it."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, sensei," Kakashi whispered, he sagged back against the man slightly, something inside him went loose.

The Yondaime's arms tightened around him. Kakashi was trapped, held still by his teacher, but he felt perfectly content. There was a niggling worry somewhere in his mind, telling him that he should break free, but he ignored it. He didn't want to be free, he wanted to be captured like this forever.

"Kakashi?" the Yondaime turned his head slightly, until Kakashi could feel the man's lips move against his jaw when he spoke, "I'm not your teacher anymore."

Kakashi's heart had started to speed up, "I know."

The Yondaime shifted behind him, until he was kneeling a little higher, and could lever himself to peer further over Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi could see the man's hair out of the corner of his eye, then a flash of blue when the Yondaime turned his face to look at him.

"Then don't call me sensei anymore," he said softly, "alright?"

"I…" Kakashi turned his head so that he could look at the blond, but jumped when his nose brushed against the Yondaime's, startled by how close their faces were.

That niggling worry in the back of Kakashi's mind was practically screaming at him. But every thought in his head was quickly silenced when he felt the Yondaime's fingers ghost over his face, and agonisingly slowly, pull his mask down.

He was too close to him to see it, but he heard the Yondaime swallow.

"Can I…" he could feel the blonde's words breath over his face, his eyes moved down to Kakashi's lips, and at that moment Kakashi tore his hands out of the pack and grabbed the arm that was snaked around his chest.

He had been going to pull the man off him, because this was one big mistake that he was damned for wanting to make. But at the same instant the Yondaime's lips closed over his, and rather than pull away from the man, Kakashi pressed even closer to him.

He was damned. Because if the Yondaime were himself, if he could remember anything at all, he wouldn't want to kiss Kakashi. And if he ever regained his memories then what they were doing, the fact that they were kissing, would utterly horrify the man. But Kakashi melted into him anyway, quivering delightfully on the inside.

The Yondaime made a delicate little sound into Kakashi's mouth, and the noise stroked heat throughout Kakashi, from his very core, and made him tilt his head back even further. He was the one who moved his tongue into his sensei's mouth before he sighed into him.

Kakashi snapped his eyes open. His tongue was in his sensei's mouth. And no matter how wonderful it felt, when they stopped kissing he would have to look into his sensei's face and wait for the man to remember exactly why this was a bad idea. He had been terrified of losing the man again, but he would loose him just the same if he started to remember and hated Kakashi for taking advantage of him when he didn't have his memories.

Kakashi jerked his head to the side, breaking the kiss, and twisted out of the man's arms.

"Kakashi…"

"That was…" Kakashi gasped for air, he couldn't meet the Yondaime's eyes, "that was wrong, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"You…" Kakashi's heart clenched painfully, "you can't remember. You wouldn't kiss me if you could remember."

The Yondaime frowned and edged closer to Kakashi, but Kakashi leapt to his feet and paced across to the tree a few feet away. If the man tried to touch him again he would cave, he'd give in, and then everything would be ruined. He refused to lose his teacher again due to something as stupid as a kiss.

"What are you talking about?" the Yondaime rose to his feet, in one fluid motion and swept across to where Kakashi was bracing himself against the tree.

"Don't," Kakashi warned, "you don't really want…"

"Yes I do," the Yondaime replied firmly, with the same tone of authority that had made Kakashi pause earlier. He gasped when the blond turned him around and put his hands on Kakashi's shoulders.

"If getting my memories back means that I don't want this," he said softly, "then I don't want to remember."

He stepped into Kakashi, and Kakashi's back slammed into the tree behind him when he tried to back away. The Yondaime was kissing him again, but it was a light touch, and Kakashi was well aware that he wasn't being held as tightly as he was before, that he was being given the opportunity to push the man away.

Instead, he crumbled. His arms found their way around the Yondaime's waist, his hands skimmed over the man's spine, and he kissed him back.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

He was nothing more than liquid heat, simmering urgently beneath the Yondaime's hands. His breath was coming in short gasps, his hands _gripped_ the fabric of the Yondaime's shirt when the man cocked his head and slanted their lips more firmly together. There was a hot tongue thrusting insistently into his mouth, and fingers tangled in his hair. He was drowning in the Yondaime, lost within the feeling and the taste and the _sounds_ the man was making.

They were pressed so close together that Kakashi thought he could feel the beat of his teacher's heart against his chest. His own heart would give out at any minute, he was sure, because it simply wasn't accustomed to so much stimulation.

The Yondaime combed his fingers through Kakashi's hair in an almost possessive movement. His other hand caressed it's way down Kakashi's arm, leaving flames in it's wake, until it was resting upon Kakashi's hip, and Kakashi could feel each of those fingertips melting into him.

He was thrown slightly when the Yondaime shifted. The man's lips were still moving against his, his hands were still upon him, but their bodies were no longer pressed together, and the cold air rushed between them, causing Kakashi to shiver.

The hand in his hair trailed down to curl around the back of Kakashi's neck, holding his head still as the life was kissed out of him, while one of the Yondaime's knees managed to creep between Kakashi's legs.

If the hand upon his neck wasn't holding Kakashi immobile, he would have thrown his head back, he would have cried out, but all he could do was gasp, and then moan into the Yondaime's mouth as the man raised his leg, and the thigh wedged between both of Kakashi's rubbed maddeningly against his groin.

He had been half hard before, humming pleasantly as he kissed the Yondaime. But he could feel himself rapidly hardening against the man's thigh, and when the Yondaime leant further into him, Kakashi's knees seemed to evaporate. He couldn't keep himself upright, his legs had abandoned him. He would have sagged to the ground if it wasn't for the thigh strategically pressed against him. When his knees ceased to work, Kakashi only managed to collapse by a fraction before he inadvertently ground his erection into the Yondaime's leg.

He was whimpering against the Yondaime's lips, shaking beneath a wave of lust so potent he was surprised he didn't come right there and then. But he could feel the Yondaime smiling into the kiss, and Kakashi forced his mind to knit itself back together. He was clinging desperately to his last ounce of pride, and he would not be finished so quickly by a mere _thigh_.

Despite the uncontrollable shaking of his arms, he managed to push the man off him.

He only had to see the shocked expression on the man's face for an instant before he whipped his foot out and swept the Yondaime's legs from beneath him. He followed the blond down to the floor, only slightly guilty for the thud of the Yondaime's back against the ground before he attacked the man's lips again.

There was something he was forgetting, but his thoughts had turned to smoke in his mind. He really couldn't bring himself to focus upon anything other than the soft sounds he was dragging out of his teacher as he slid over the man.

The Yondaime arched upwards, bucking almost languidly and rubbing his erection against Kakashi's abdomen. Kakashi's fingers scratched at the dirt. He had been reduced to nothing more than a heavy pulse of desire.

The Yondaime's arms were tightening around him, his hands were dragging themselves over his back, then they were pressed over the curve of Kakashi's ass and pulling Kakashi closer, forcing their hips to clash together.

Kakashi raised his head and gasped for air. His lungs were burning. His _entire being_ was burning, and beneath him the Yondaime was panting just as hard, eyes half lidded with desire, flushed and sweating.

Kakashi groaned at the sight. He had never seen the man look like that before. He had never even imagined that he could, let alone that Kakashi would be the one to make him look like that.

That was when the _something_ that Kakashi was forgetting came back to him. Kakashi had never imagined that he could put that flush into the Yondaime's face, because he never would have been given the opportunity before. He was only being allowed to do this, to kiss him and thrust against him and moan into him, because the man couldn't remember that he didn't really want it.

"Stop it!" the Yondaime's eyes narrowed dangerously as his hands found their way back into Kakashi's hair, preventing any notion of escape, "stop thinking."

The blond reached upwards to kiss him again, and despite all of Kakashi's misgivings, all of the reasons why he should put a stop to this, he could only grasp onto one single thought before his mind went blissfully empty.

_Fuck it._

He rocked his hips into his teacher, dragging a muffled groan out of the man, before he grasped his shirt and impatiently pushed the material upwards, revealing the length of the Yondaime's torso and the delicious definition and firm muscles that quivered and twitched under Kakashi's hands.

He slid down over the man, and replaced his hands with his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to trace the dips and curves that made up the Yondaime with his tongue. He raked his teeth over the blonde's flesh and breathed him in. When he finally fastened his lips over one of the man's nipples, the only sounds coming out of the man were broken vowels stuttered towards the sky.

The Yondaime's hands were still in Kakashi's hair, his fingers tensed and flexed, as though he was working extremely hard to not just take a fistful of the strands and pull.

The blond bucked his hips, and the movement forced Kakashi to release his nipple from between his teeth.

The Yondaime was heaving for air, his eyes had been screwed shut, but he forced them open when Kakashi's lips were no longer on him.

"Wait…" he gasped, "just… give me a minute…"

Kakashi smirked up at him, and slowly began to glide down the man's body. _Now_ the man wanted a minute? After rushing Kakashi to a state of arousal that was quickly starting to become painful?

He rubbed his palm over the Yondaime's erection through the material of his pants, and throbbed with longing at the groan the man let out.

"K-Kakashi…"

"Up," Kakashi commanded in response as he curled his fingers around the waistband of the blonde's pants and tugged downwards.

The Yondaime strained his hips towards the sky, his fingers carving patterns into the dirt now that Kakashi's hair was out of his reach. Kakashi pulled his pants down onto his thighs, freeing the man's erection.

In a moment of fiendish teasing, Kakashi simply breathed over the Yondaime's heated flesh.

The Yondaime sounded very close to sobbing.

He would regret this. They both would regret this. But the Yondaime was just one big ball of need that was excruciatingly close to bursting, and Kakashi was _aching_. They would regret it, but Kakashi suspected that he would still regret it if he changed his mind now too.

And it would hardly be fair, to either of them, if he left the man in such a state.

He licked one firm line up the Yondaime's erection, from root to tip, before swallowing him completely.

The Yondaime cried out, surged his hips upwards, and came in pulsing bursts down Kakashi's throat.

Kakashi _never_ imagined that he would ever swallow his sensei's come.

He smirked, rather proud of himself, even with the Yondaime's cock still in his mouth.

He sat back, releasing the man from his mouth with a 'pop' and looked down at him.

If he thought he had been aching with desire before, it was nothing compared to what the sight of his teacher lying there did to him. The Yondaime looked so thoroughly debauched, with his pants around his thighs and his shirt bunched up, chest heaving, eyes closed, lips parted and cheeks the most delicious shade of pink Kakashi had ever seen.

The Yondaime blinked lazily, still slightly breathless, before propping himself up onto his elbows to look towards Kakashi.

The Yondaime's eyes went wide when he looked at him.

"Oh god," the man almost whimpered.

Kakashi frowned, and squirmed, as much due to the man's awe filled expression as to the glorious agony throbbing between his legs. He suddenly felt embarrassed, like an awkward teenager under the Yondaime's gaze, and it was all he could do not to hide the tent in his pants with his hands and scurry away in shame.

But he had just given the man a blow job, so the ridiculousness of his embarrassment was a given.

The blond leant forwards and reached an arm out towards Kakashi's face. Kakashi was frozen for an instant, until the Yondaime's thumb brushed over his chin and wiped away the line of come that had somehow escaped Kakashi's mouth.

A very small, very soft groan burst out of the man, before he grabbed Kakashi by his shirt and dragged him into a searing kiss.

The Yondaime's hands danced over him, touching everywhere he could reach, before finally cupping Kakashi's ass and pulling Kakashi onto his lap.

Kakashi's hips jerked when his clothed erection touched the man's stomach. The Yondaime broke the kiss, but kept his lips against Kakashi's as he spoke.

"My turn."

The blond plunged his tongue back into Kakashi's mouth and raked his fingers down over Kakashi, until he was holding him through his pants, massaging his fingers over Kakashi's balls with one hand, while the other wormed it's way past the waistband and grasped his neglected erection.

The sound that Kakashi made might have been a scream, but it was swallowed by the blond before it could be identified.

Kakashi thrust up into the Yondaime's hand. He was holding onto the man's shoulders as though the Yondaime was the only thing holding him to the world. He would probably leave bruises on the man, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything apart from the movement of the blonde's hand.

Every stroke was pulling at each and every nerve in his body, braiding pleasure through his being until he thought he would be torn apart before he actually managed to come. He barely even registered that the Yondaime had stopped kissing him, that an enraptured blue gaze was fixed on his face as he breathed in harsh gasps.

He screwed his eyes shut, as though he could ward off the violent wave of pleasure that was threatening to kill him if he couldn't see. He bit his lip and buried his face into the Yondaime's shoulder a moment before he was shoved over the edge. He came hard into his teacher's hand, over his stomach, quaking uncontrollably as his body came back down to earth.

When he recalled that breathing was necessary for survival, he became slowly aware of the Yondaime's lips pressing soft kisses along his jaw.

He cracked an eye open, but all he could see was the crook of the man's neck.

"Nngh," he managed to let out.

"Heh," the Yondaime chuckled, Kakashi could feel the laughter vibrating through the blonde's chest, "my thoughts exactly."

Sooner or later this would come back to make him suffer. He would end up incredibly sorry for letting this happen. But at that very moment, Kakashi just sighed blissfully and wrapped his arms around the man. If he was going to pay for it, he might as well squeeze every ounce of joy out of the moment that he could.

He wasn't going to let go of the Yondaime until he was forced to.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Kakashi woke up to the sound of the Yondaime's heart beating. He had fallen asleep with his head pillowed against the blonde's chest, his teacher's arms still wrapped around his waist. The man had refused to release him, and Kakashi's half-hearted attempts to wriggle free had only resulted in the Yondaime tightening his grip.

He had given up trying to escape after a few moments anyway. It felt far too nice being held by the man to want to break free. He had fallen asleep sprawled over him, smiling to himself. He was still smiling when he awoke, warm and comfortable and content.

The beating of his teacher's heart was lulling him back to sleep. If he allowed himself to wake up then he'd have to come to terms with what he had allowed to happen last night. What he had done with his teacher. He would have to invite in the guilt that was swimming around his consciousness. He couldn't help but feel like he had taken advantage of the blond.

He desperately wanted the Yondaime to regain his memories. But he would then have to deal with the man's reaction to what they had done.

The thought made him feel sick.

He felt the pattern of the blonde's breathing change. The man was awake, and Kakashi groaned on the inside, not wanting to have to move yet. He tried to pretend that he was still sleeping, in the hopes that the Yondaime would let him lie against him for a while longer.

"Kakashi," the Yondaime shook him slightly, "we need to get up."

Kakashi shook his head sleepily, burrowing into the man's chest as he did so. It wasn't time to get up yet, it wasn't time to worry about what would happen when the Yondaime remembered and blamed Kakashi for what they had done. Not yet.

"I think we're being watched," the blond said softly into Kakashi's hair.

Kakashi stiffened. His eyes snapped open, but that was the only movement he allowed himself. He hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, he hadn't sensed anyone watching them.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

The blond released his hold on Kakashi and nudged them up into a sitting position, "not really, I might be wrong."

Kakashi scanned the landscape, listening carefully to the noises that filtered towards them, but there was nothing suspicious about the morning as far as he could tell.

Apart from the faint smell of smoke.

"We should go," Kakashi said as he reached for his pack.

The Yondaime nodded and rolled himself to his feet, "Kakashi?"

"Hm?" Kakashi rolled the blanket up so that he could fit it back into his pack and glanced up at the blond standing over him.

Without a word, the Yondaime crouched down in front of him, and stole a quick kiss from Kakashi's lips, before he fixed Kakashi's mask over his face and stood up again.

Kakashi sucked in a breath as flames rose to his face. His heart had started to gallop even though it had been only a relatively chaste kiss. It brought back to him just how different their relationship was from the one he and his teacher had had before the Yondaime had died. It reminded him of what they had done the night before, of the way the blonde's hand had curled around his erection.

He swallowed and pushed himself to his feet. The scent of smoke was still clinging to the air, making him nervous. He could better recognise the scent now, as though it had moved closer.

It was cigarette smoke.

A startled yelp from behind him made Kakashi whip around. His heart had leapt to his throat, choking him. There were three Iwa-nin facing Kakashi. One was holding a kunai to the Yondaime's neck.

"We'll take Blondie," the kunoichi to the left of the Yondaime flicked ash from her cigarette as she spoke to the third member of their team, "you deal with him." She nodded in Kakashi's direction before she turned away, and the Yondaime was slowly pulled backwards by the man holding him, the kunai pressing dangerously into his neck.

Kakashi's entire frame went taut as the shinobi closest to him smirked superiorly and stepped towards him. Out of the corner of his eye Kakashi could see the Yondaime's expression, slack with shock and eyes slowly widening as he was forced backwards.

Kakashi's hands tightened into fists. He wouldn't let anyone take the Yondaime from him. Not now, not ever. He would kill anyone who tried.

Before the shinobi could take another step, Kakashi saw the Yondaime's expression change. The shock fell out of his features, his eyes narrowed and hardened to blue ice.

Kakashi blinked, and the kunai was no longer at his teacher's throat. It was in the Yondaime's hand, and the man who had been holding him captive was falling to his knees, bleeding all over the ground.

Kakashi was stunned into stillness, his shock mirrored by the shinobi who had been moving towards him.

The kunoichi was the only person who had retained the ability to move. Kakashi could only watch in mute horror as her hands came together to form a sequence of seals, and Kakashi couldn't find his voice to shout a warning.

But the Yondaime was behind her in a flicker of movement, the bloody kunai in his hand painting her slender neck in her companion's blood.

"Don't move," he growled into her ear.

"Fuck you!" she spat.

The Yondaime's eyes narrowed even more, turning his expression into something that caused a shiver to move up through Kakashi. The blond brought the heel of the kunai down into her temple, and let her sag to the ground, unconscious.

The shinobi that had been about to attack Kakashi was slowly edging away from the blond, but he ended up backing up towards Kakashi.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakashi asked as he grabbed the man by the wrist and twisted his arm so far up his back that he cried out before he could stop himself.

"Who hired you?" the Yondaime demanded as he walked purposefully towards them, across the bloody body that was sprawled face down in the dirt.

Kakashi tightened his grip and twisted the shinobi's arm further upwards when he failed to answer.

"A man called Matsura," the Iwa-nin ground out around a pained grimace.

Kakashi's eyes flickered towards his teacher, who was still glaring with the intensity to melt rock as he watched the shinobi Kakashi was holding.

Kakashi should have killed the scientist when he had the chance.

The Yondaime's eyes moved from the Iwa-nin's face to Kakashi's, and his expression softened slightly.

"We need to go," he said.

Kakashi nodded, and slipped a roll of wire from his pouch to tie the Iwa-nin up. He was still slightly shaken, but he wasn't sure if it was due to the impromptu attack, or the way the Yondaime had turned into the deadly efficient shinobi that he had once been.

"Are you alright?" the Yondaime asked once Kakashi had fastened the wire around the Iwa-nin to keep him immobile.

When Kakashi looked back at the blond, the fierceness was completely gone, the ice in his eyes had melted. He was looking at Kakashi with only concern, and Kakashi was torn between relief and disappointment. He wanted the Yondaime to go back to being his old self. But he also wanted to be able to kiss the man, and touch him, and hear him gasp out his name.

In the pit of his soul, he knew he couldn't have both. He felt guilty for not knowing which he wanted more.

"I'm fine," Kakashi replied, "let's go."

oO0Oo

"We should head away from Iwagakure for a while," Kakashi called out to the blond.

The Yondaime halted and turned back to face Kakashi, "away from where?"

"The hidden village that those shinobi came from," Kakashi replied as he came to stand beside the other man, "we'd get to Fire Country faster if we head towards it, but it would probably be safer if we try to steer clear of it."

The Yondaime nodded and held out his arm, "let me carry your pack for a while."

"That's alright," Kakashi replied as he shook his head, "you don't need to."

"I want to," the blond smiled in exasperation as he grabbed the straps fixed over Kakashi's shoulders and attempted to pry the pack from him, "give it here."

"Sensei," Kakashi whined in protest as he tried to back away from the man.

"Hey," the Yondaime frowned, "I told you not to call me that," then he did something that caught Kakashi so off guard that he stumbled backwards and fell onto his ass.

The Yondaime tickled him.

The surprise on the blonde's face quickly melted into an evilly gleeful smirk, "you're _ticklish_."

Kakashi shook his head in horror, "no, I'm not, honestly," he replied. But he was marginally thrown off balance by the fact that the man had known instinctively where to tickle him, the exact spot on his side that no one but his teacher had ever found.

"Yes you are," the Yondaime grinned and leant forwards, arms reaching towards Kakashi.

Kakashi grabbed the man's hands before they could touch him, "you don't want to do that."

"Yes I do," the Yondaime's smile faded from amusement into something far more seductive as he lowered himself to his knees between Kakashi's legs, "can I have my hands back?"

Kakashi shook his head, eyes widening as the Yondaime leaned closer to him.

"No?" the Yondaime purred as he rubbed his nose against Kakashi's. The world had narrowed down to two blue eyes sparkling right in front of Kakashi. There suddenly wasn't enough air, and Kakashi was being consumed by a slow burn as the blond began to languidly rub his cheek against his.

"Well," the Yondaime breathed into Kakashi's ear, "I'll just have to use my teeth."

Kakashi's grip on his teacher's hands loosened when he felt the blond start to tug down his mask with only his teeth. He hitched in a startled breath before the mask was beneath his chin, and the Yondaime was passing fleeting kisses along his jaw, until his lips were against Kakashi's and he had laced their fingers together.

Kakashi moaned and deepened the kiss. He wasn't close enough to the blond, he wanted to be pressed against him, to burrow right into him and lose himself in the heat of his teacher's body. But he had to settle for the Yondaime slowly devouring him, sucking Kakashi's bottom lip into his mouth and causing desire to surge through Kakashi's veins.

Somewhere in the back of Kakashi's mind he thought he could feel the ground moving. The Yondaime was kissing him languorously, as though they had all of the time in the world, and it wasn't enough. Kakashi leant further into him, pushing his tongue into the man's mouth as though he were dying of thirst and needed to drink the Yondaime in.

The Yondaime's hands tightened around his, he was sliding his own tongue over Kakashi's, delving into his mouth, and Kakashi was shuddering with the desire to just push the man down onto the ground and…

The ground was still moving, the vibrations had gotten stronger, and they were accompanied by a low rumble from deep below the surface.

Kakashi pulled back from the kiss. The Yondaime blinked dazedly and licked his lips.

"Can you feel that?" Kakashi asked breathlessly.

"Hm?" the blond tried to focus upon him, "feel what?"

It was only finely honed reflexes that made Kakashi shove the blond away from him and roll to the side, an instant before the ground opened up where he had been sitting. The earth splintered and collapsed, and over the hole that had been made Kakashi caught sight of the kunoichi the Yondaime had knocked out earlier, before she was gone in a cloud of dust.

"Sensei!" Kakashi looked towards the man, breathing a relieved sigh when he saw him standing just on the edge of the gaping crack in the ground, peering down into the darkness that had very nearly swallowed them.

The ground had started to shake again.

"Move!" Kakashi grabbed the Yondaime's arm and spun him away from the hole before a new crack ate into the ground beneath his feet. The kunoichi was nowhere in sight, but further down the path, in the direction they had been heading, the shinobi Kakashi had left tied up was spinning senbon between his fingers and watching them intently.

He should have been paying attention, not kissing his teacher. They knew that there were shinobi hunting for the Yondaime, he shouldn't have been so careless.

He uncovered the Sharingan as the dust cleared. The kunoichi was glaring at them, and Kakashi watched the seals that were formed by her fingers before he skidded to the side to avoid what had become a gaping chasm in the ground.

The Yondaime was looking back and forth between the kunoichi and her companion, before his eyes settled upon Kakashi uncertainly.

There was a glint of silver in the air that caught Kakashi's attention. He rushed towards the blond and pushed him out of the way. The senbon caught Kakashi in the shoulder instead.

The shinobi who had released the senbon was retrieving two more as Kakashi plucked the needles from his flesh and tossed them to the ground. He couldn't believe how careless he had been, and even as he was berating himself internally he was flying through the seals that the kunoichi had made. The earth cracked apart beneath the Iwa-nin before he could throw the senbon in his hands.

He turned back towards where he had last seen the kunoichi when he began to feel dizzy. The world was lurching, and somewhere far away he could hear the Yondaime calling his name.

The ground was trembling, but that might simply have been Kakashi swaying on his feet. For a moment he was looking up at his teacher, he was fourteen again and much shorter than the man. The Yondaime was speaking to him, but Kakashi could only see the movement of his lips, he couldn't hear anything but blood rushing in his ears. It was a long moment before he realised that he wasn't shorter than the man, he was simply on the ground, looking up at him.

A pair of startled blue eyes was the last thing he saw.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

He could hear birds all around him. Thousands of them it seemed. He thought for a moment that it was the sound of Chidori. But the birds weren't screaming. They were singing.

When Kakashi opened his eyes, it was to the sight of sunlight filtering down through countless leaves above him. The air smelled fresh and green and alive, he was surrounded by such a sense of home that he could have melted into the ground in relaxation.

"Good morning sunshine."

Kakashi gasped at the sound of the Yondaime's voice. The last thing he could remember was two Iwa-nin, two senbon, and his teacher's startled expression.

He pushed himself into a sitting position and stared at the blond, who was sitting a few feet away, between the roots of a massive oak tree, smiling at him.

"Or should I say 'good afternoon,'" he said in amusement.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked, his throat felt incredibly dry.

The Yondaime tossed him a water canteen before he replied, "well, we were attacked by a pair of Iwa-nin," he sighed as he leant back into the tree, "and you managed to get yourself sedated."

"Sedated?" Kakashi blinked as he twisted the lid off the canteen, "it wasn't poison then?"

The Yondaime shook his head, "he was aiming for _me_. Matsura probably told them that they wouldn't get paid unless they brought me back alive."

"Makes sense," Kakashi pulled his mask down and tipped the canteen up against his lips, letting the water flow down his throat.

"Anyway," the Yondaime grinned, "while you were napping…"

"Napping?" Kakashi squawked in indignation.

"…I made quick work of that kunoichi," the blond went on, "and then I carried you back to Fire Country."

Kakashi glanced around him, at the trees and the lush greenery they were surrounded by and sighed, "how long was I out?"

The Yondaime cocked an eyebrow in thought, "mm, not long, just a few hours."

Kakashi goggled at the man, "a few hours? How the hell did we get back to Fire Country in just a few hours? We were days away!"

The Yondaime smirked at him, "well, I _was_ once known as the Yellow Flash you know."

"Yes, but…" Kakashi's eyes widened. He had never mentioned that the blond was nicknamed the Yellow Flash, "how do you know…"

The smirk on the Yondaime's face mellowed into a smile, "ah, I um… remembered a few things while you were unconscious."

"A few things?" Kakashi breathed. It felt as though his heart had expanded, "what things?"

The smile faded from the Yondaime's lips, and Kakashi was suddenly gripped by an undeniable fear that the Yondaime was about to shoot Kakashi down in flames, that he would blame Kakashi for what had happened between them, that he would tell Kakashi that he should have put a stop to it. He had the inescapable need to apologise, to beg the man to forgive him for letting things go as far as they did.

"I thought you were dead," the Yondaime said softly, drawing Kakashi from his thoughts.

"Huh?" Kakashi shook himself and watched a small, sad smile return to the blonde's lips.

"I thought the senbon had been poisoned," he continued, "and I was absolutely terrified that you were dying and there was nothing I could do to save you."

Kakashi blinked and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, "oh."

"Then I realised that…" the Yondaime took a deep breath, "that I had felt that way before. That wasn't the first time I had seen you get hurt, and I started to remember things."

Kakashi nodded, utterly unable to speak.

"Then when we got back to Fire Country," the blond glanced at the scenery around them, "I remembered more things. I think being back here pushed some more of my memories to the surface."

"So…" Kakashi said quietly, "do you… remember everything?"

The Yondaime shook his head, "not everything. There are still some… holes."

A smile was blossoming upon Kakashi's face. Did this mean that he had his sensei back? _Really_ back?

"Do you remember what Jiraiya gave me for my fourteenth birthday?" he asked.

The Yondaime frowned, "yeah! The old pervert! I never did teach him a lesson for that."

The smile blossoming upon Kakashi's face spread, "how about the time you cooked me kabayaki because you thought there wasn't enough protein in my diet?"

The Yondaime chuckled sheepishly and scratched his head, "how was I supposed to know the eel had gone off? I only realised once you threw up on me."

Kakashi's smile had turned into a grin. His soul was practically singing.

"I missed you sensei," he said finally.

The Yondaime looked startled for a moment, before he smiled back at Kakashi.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't call me that anymore," he said.

Kakashi's smile dropped away. He could hear the echo of the blond whispering 'I'm not your teacher any more,' before he pulled Kakashi's mask down and kissed him. It had only been the previous night, but now the Yondaime could remember, and Kakashi's heart cracked a little when he realised what that meant.

He would never be able to kiss him like that again.

The Yondaime frowned in concern at the look on Kakashi's face, "what's wrong?" he asked as he slid closer to Kakashi.

Kakashi shook his head, and gave his teacher a wavering smile, "nothing."

The Yondaime moved to sit beside him, and he smiled kindly as he combed his fingers through Kakashi's hair.

"You grew up without me," he said sadly as he dropped his arm around Kakashi's shoulders, settling Kakashi against him, "I'm sorry I missed it."

For some reason, Kakashi felt close to tears. He closed his eyes to keep them back and dropped his head onto the Yondaime's shoulder. He suddenly didn't want to go back to Konoha straight away. He didn't want to have to share the man with anyone. He wanted to keep his teacher to himself for a while. He would have to let the Yondaime be stolen away from him once they got home. The Yondaime would have to divide himself between the entire village, and in a moment of pure selfishness Kakashi just wanted to stay right there and be alone with the man.

"I guess there's a lot I need to catch up on," the blond sighed, Kakashi could feel the man's breath in his hair when the Yondaime turned to rest his head atop Kakashi's.

"Yeah," Kakashi replied softly.

"Not yet though," the Yondaime mumbled into Kakashi's hair.

Kakashi wanted to wrap his arms around the man and simply hold him. His hands were twitching with the need to touch him, but he couldn't. He had such an unexpected sense of loss when he realised that the blond didn't feel the same way about him now that he had his memories back. The ache was not as bad as it had been before he had found out that the blond was really his teacher, but it was still there, gnawing away at him.

"Kakashi?" the Yondaime lifted his head from Kakashi's, "can I ask you something?"

Kakashi blinked his eyes open, relieved that they were still dry, and raised his head from his teacher's shoulder to look into his face.

"Now that I have most of my memories back," the man said, and frowned slightly, almost as though he were afraid, "is it still alright for me to kiss you?"

It felt as though a lead weight had been dropped heavily into Kakashi's stomach. He blinked in shock at the blond, unable to believe what he had just heard. The Yondaime was smiling nervously as he waited for Kakashi's response, but Kakashi couldn't force his voice to work. All he could do was stare at the man in unparalleled shock.

He had hoped… more than hoped, he had been willing to beg… but he couldn't actually believe it. He had been so sure that the Yondaime wouldn't want him if he could remember. But now that he had his memories back he still wanted…

The Yondaime's smile became shadowed with disappointment as he looked away.

"Right… just forget…"

As the Yondaime began to move away from him, Kakashi was suffocated by blinding panic. He hadn't been able to move before, but when the blond took his arm from around Kakashi's shoulders, Kakashi threw himself forwards. He didn't know how to communicate to the man how profoundly grateful he was, how completely overjoyed he felt because of that one single question, so he simply threw himself upon his teacher and kissed him.

The Yondaime gasped into Kakashi's lips when he fell back onto the ground, with Kakashi on top of him, holding him desperately. It wasn't possible for a person to be happier than Kakashi at that moment. The Yondaime was smiling as he kissed Kakashi back, he was wrapping his arms around Kakashi and then rolling them over, until Kakashi was lying on the forest floor and the Yondaime was kissing him hard enough to leave his lips bruised.

Kakashi felt weightless. Like the only thing keeping him pinned to the earth was the weight of the man on top of him. Suddenly everything was so perfect that Kakashi almost didn't trust it, nothing had ever worked out so wonderfully for him, it was all far too good to be true.

The Yondaime left his lips and clung to Kakashi as he nuzzled his neck, "you have no idea how happy I am that I'm still allowed to do that."

"Stupid," Kakashi smiled, "why would you think that I wouldn't want you to?"

"I don't know," the blond murmured, "I figured that I'd act differently now that I can remember, and you wouldn't be attracted to me any more."

Kakashi could have smacked up him upside the head, "idiot," he breathed affectionately, "I was afraid that you wouldn't want me if you got your memories back."

The Yondaime nipped him playfully, "stupid brat," he smiled into Kakashi's neck, "how could I not want you?"

Kakashi smiled just before the Yondaime descended onto his lips again, undoing him completely with a thorough kiss.

oO0Oo

The Yondaime stopped abruptly as soon as the gates came into view. His grasp on Kakashi's hand caused Kakashi to be pulled back when he stopped.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked. The Yondaime was looking towards the gates of Konoha with wide eyes.

"Huh?" the blond blinked towards Kakashi, "yeah," he smiled.

"Come on then," Kakashi smiled back, "we're nearly home."

"Kakashi," the Yondaime winced nervously as he looked back at the gates, "do you think he'll like me?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but he found himself smiling fondly at the man, "he'll adore you," Kakashi replied, "you're already his hero and he's never even met you."

The Yondaime smiled and looked back at his old student, "what if I don't live up to his image of me?"

"You'll blast his image of you out of the water," Kakashi informed him, "you're wonderful, didn't you know that?"

The Yondaime butted his shoulder against Kakashi's playfully.

"Come on old man," Kakashi grinned, "you won't get to meet him standing out here all day."

"Less of the 'old!'" the blond huffed, "In case you didn't realise," he smirked, "you're older than me now."

Kakashi blinked and turned to gawp at him, "what?"

The Yondaime laughed and strode forwards, tugging on Kakashi's hand.

"I'm your toy boy," the blond was shaking with mirth.

"You were born before me!" Kakashi argued.

"But you've been alive longer," the Yondaime chuckled.

Kakashi glared half-heartedly at his teacher, but the expression faded when the Yondaime's grin turned into a wistful smile.

"What's he like?" the blond asked.

"You've already asked me this," Kakashi replied.

"I'm asking again," the Yondaime said with a dazzling smile.

Kakashi sighed as the gates of Konoha grew closer, "well, he looks exactly like you…"

_End._


End file.
